Within My Lustful Gaze

Girl watching

You are never a moonlit ship

oblivious in your calm passing

my cove of desired intentions

instead, break swiftly to port

dropping anchor

My charming words wade out 

through waves of enticement.

Licentiously compelled you're

caught in a tide beckoned by

Calypso herself

There upon the smooth coast

of my affection you shimmer

naked within my lustful gaze

as we ignite like a Greek-fire

of dancing flesh

The tide of our constant art

crashes and envelops deeper

ript' out, into our sea of love

as Cupid's fiery arrow flames

this carnal pyre 

But as you walk by I wonder,

If, you knew of these things

would you then choose to be

caught within my lustful gaze

or stay oblivious?

Author's Note

Forgive me for attempting to use the fine form of poetry that is well perfected by the wonderful Girl Friday(Sarah. W). It just seemed to fit.

Reviews

[Dana Alsamsam]

i know this ones from a while back, but i just realized i'd never gotten to this RR! i'm glad i came by to give it a read. love the form and the way you worked with it. i often wonder how i would be taken in by an outside observer, how a writer would describe me. i highly doubt it would be half as beautiful as this! i love this observation writing style with that touch of insight in the last stanza. also loved these lines:
"you're
caught in a tide beckoned by
Calypso herself"
i enjoyed the mythology in there. well done!

[Astro]

Well better late than never. Thanks Dana glad you enjoyed it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you did this form very well...i love the transitions in this poem,...the luring, although not so much needed...she is more than willing...

they make a nice calypso together...but then it turns to something else...and maybe for her just feels like it was sex for him..just physical..she may have regrets or she may have just wanted the same as he.

nicely done, Astro.

[Astro]

Thanks Jacob, I'm glad this one impressed you so, thank you very much.

[Kristin Lee]

Another beautiful one Astro. People are beautiful, especially when they are in their natural form, unhindered, not acting, just being themselves. I love the descriptions you being to this piece. If you made a woman feel half as beautiful as the words on this page I'm sure any woman would be glad to be caught in your gaze. And the form is perfect. It really adds to what your saying.

[Astro]

Well all women should feel beatiful, because they are. The most beatiful gift in the world. Thank you for such a glowing review and for the compliment.

[Vikrantsingh]

Gosh! Amazing loved it Astro, unique and really different topic and i really loved it :)
thanks for the invite :)
- Singh :)

[Astro]

Thank you for a really wonderful review Singh.

[Angi]

To see these poetic lustful words behind the gazing eyes just might make one of those girls turn and smile, Astro. I am a huge fan of Sarah's work. She blows me away so often. I could definately see her touch here. Nicely done, man! Angi~

[Astro]

Thanks Angi, for the compliment and the vote of confidence! :D

[Jack...]

Very well done my friend. You have captured desire and dreams in a nice form. Standing back, just another face in the crowd, but the focus is what makes you stand apart. Very cool.

[Astro]

Thanks Jack, most definitely an exercise in perspectives. One understood all too well by the single male poet.

[Frieda P]

Very exquisite but now you have me thinking that Friday is naked....lustful gaze, can it ever be oblivious? You do have an enchanting way with words my friend! I didn't read Sarah in this until I read your author's note, you made it your own, quite lovely.

[Astro]

Hahhah, nice to hear from you Frieda. Well in my lustful gaze all you women are 'naked' as Emily put it to the chagrin of some that wish they could be invisible, but also, to the willful honor of others. Thank you for the compliment with regards to making this poem my own, you are very kind.

[Troy Henson]

Superb imagery my friend. The format worked very well which helped the flow of this one.

My charming words wade out
through waves of enticement.

Loved these two lines. Beautiful imagery and smooth tone.

We are all here to learn from one another. I am humbled to see such gratitude on WC that allows us to experiment with one anothers ideas. As Sarah has put it, throw a curve ball. Well done.

[Astro]

Thanks very much for the awesome review Troy, it has become a beautifully attractive tribute so far.

[Emily B]

the words are lovely, and it is a good question you pose at the end

would we choose to be caught or wish for a cloak of invisibility? i've felt both in my days

[Astro]

Indeed, the question was poignant to the heart of the poem and I truly understand your having felt both attracted and repulsed by the act of lustful stares from strangers, or perhaps even from acquaintances and friends. Thank you for the review.

[s y e]

Hi Astro,

Firstly, I am sorry it has been a while since I reviewed you. As you know I closed my account and before that I had a hectic schedule.

Secondly, I adored this write, I thought this look quite similar to another poet that I have read and then I saw your 'Authors Note' and saw it was about Sarah, the amazing poetess. (:

"There upon the smooth coast

of my affection you shimmer

naked within my lustful gaze

as we ignite like a Greek-fire

of dancing flesh"

This is my favourite stanza of yours, I think it was really well written, with some really vivid imagery, too. And the wording of the write all in is amazing! (:

~ Noodle.

[Astro]

Thanks a lot Noodle, it has been a while but welcome back just the same. I'm glad you appreciated the tribute to style and the wording of my piece. Thanks for such a wonderful review.