Cutting to the Core

A modern day parable.

In my mind I'm walking

casually through blades of grass

with my bare feet sweeping

pollen and seed into the wind

I come upon Society sitting

like some motionless invalid

content to squat and moan

about the days fading sun

As I approach nearer still

there is no sign of recognition 

in the eyes of desperation

just a guilty conscience stare

While it sits like a hatchling

I break a branch off a tree

carrying it over my shoulder

I return to sit next to Society

When I lower myself downward

and reach the same level too

Society starts to demand of me

'things' it cannot have but wants

Things I appear to be rich with;

freedoms and understanding

So I turn to Society and ask it

To tell me all the things it wants

Society begins to wave its arms

and says, "I want justice for all."

While I listen I take out my knife

and shave off a long piece of bark

"What else would you like?" I say

Then society in a fit of anger cried

"I want equality among everyone."

"I want deep respect for each other."

I keep cutting slivers out of the branch

one cut for everything it wants in life

"I want no one to go to bed hungry or

to wake up thirsty with no water near."

"These are wonderful desires you have."

I say noticing a change in its demeanor

You see society often feels alone and 

neglected its voice unable to be heard

"You know what else I want to see?"

"I want to see industry accountable."

"I want governments to inspire us

by their examples and their speeches."

I continue with my cutting of wood

as I listen further to Society's pleas

"I want children to be taught well

the respect of themselves and others."

"Everyone should have the opportunity

to achieve their greatest of potential."

My branch now is smooth and warm

from drying in the afternoon sun above

Once more, I ask it to continue the task

as I return to my carving out this branch

"I want everyone to have a home to live in

and land to grow and feed themselves on."

"I want to see the eradication of diseases

and free access to the best medical aid"

"I want better management of resources

and free access to clean energy for all"

My whittling begins to show its form

I know I am near finished my design

"Is there anything else that you desire?"

"There is." Society says with desperation.

"I want you to help me achieve this?"

I stand up next to society so smiling

and hand it a walking stick and say

"It's your turn to stand up and walk."

  

Author's Note

Sorry to get political, but it is high time we took better care of ourselves and this planet and focus on being better people and achieving our full potential. All critiques and reviews welcome. Thank you for reading.

Reviews

[Horizon K.]

Wow, very clever as the entire time I felt I was watching this mysterious carving forming around the conversing desires of society, wondering what would appear, a walking stick, yes, that is what we need... society as individuals to take that stick and stand and walk the best they can, hold hands, and eventually things could really change... I like how you form this and by the end, the reader can do nothing but agree with what you have carved...

[Astro]

You've got it HK, I am very pleased that this poem is having a bit of a resurgence. Thank you very much for the great review.

[The Verse: A Poetry Jou..]

Wow, absolutely your best work, hands down. The diction within dialogue superb. just excellent, really!

[Astro]

Wow thank you very much Dan, I personally thought this was good work, but it didn't get a tonne of views so, I kind of thought it would rest upon a shelf in my online library. You've given me hope, thank you.

[The Verse: A Poetry Journal]

Screw it, people don't know what they like to read, only by accident do they find good reads, submit it for publishing to a journal. I haven't seen anything like it before, and I would know! I can see it having an easy time being accepted.

[Astro]

Well thank you for the vote of confidence, I will definitely keep that in mind when I think that I have enough material to look for a publisher, or find one looking for individual poems.

[The Verse: A Poetry Journal]

well, that't the thing publish them in literary magazines that accept manuscripts of 3-5 poems otherwise getting a chapbook or collection published will be really hard!

[Astro]

Thanks for the tips, I've been writing a long time, but only recently have I considered being published a possibility.

[The Verse: A Poetry Journal]

oh, you are in Canada screw it publish in america most decent journals take online submissions.

[Astro]

Another great tip to consider thanks.

[Troy Henson]

This is a fascinating piece Astro. Thoroughly enjoyed the imagery combined with the discussion held between yourself and society. The concept with the carving of the walking stick was well worked int this piece. A master stoke I must say. How true are your words spoken throughout this piece too. Ver well done. A favourite of mine.

[Astro]

Thank you very much I'm very pleased with the reviews so far. I always try and make my work thought provoking at the least, so I'm glad it didn't come of preachy.

[Troy Henson]

Not at all preachy mate.
Cheers

[Dana Alsamsam]

wow. i really really love this. the image of the walking stick is absolutely brilliant! it was cynical and a harsh statement towards our world, but at the same time it had a vibe of hope and desire for better things. great job!

[Astro]

Thanks Dana, glad you could see the wisdom within my words.

[Dr. Wood ?]

commendable dreams Astro.And a great story, well written..the dreamer in me is with you on this but the cynic still sees grimy politicians lining their pockets as they paste empty promises onto every wall in every town

[Astro]

I think William Shakespeare put it best when Hamlet did nothing.
"To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune,
Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them: to die, to sleep
No more; and by a sleep, to say we end
The Heart-ache, and the thousand Natural shocks
That Flesh is heir to? 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die to sleep,
To sleep, perchance to Dream; Aye, there's the rub,
For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes Calamity of so long life:
For who would bear the Whips and Scorns of time,
The Oppressor's wrong, the proud man's Contumely,
The pangs of despised Love, the Law’s delay,
The insolence of Office, and the Spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his Quietus make
With a bare Bodkin? Who would Fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered Country, from whose bourn
No Traveller returns, Puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have,
Than fly to others that we know not of.
Thus Conscience does make Cowards of us all,
And thus the Native hue of Resolution
Is sicklied o'er, with the pale cast of Thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment,
With this regard their Currents turn awry,
And lose the name of Action. Soft you now,
The fair Ophelia? Nymph, in thy Orisons
Be all my sins remembered.[2]"

[Dr. Wood ?]

You could well be right...AND well read.....My Mum used to know shakespeare by heart....I remember as a boy and there being a Will play on the tv and my mum would recite the script as they were performing.....I, alas know nothing

[Astro]

Many a classroom demanded of its pupils the memorization of Wills more famous soliloquies, i normally am horrible at remembering the lines of great writers but in this case it shone through.

[Dr. Wood ?]

certainly did my friend, I was impressed....The most I ever learned off by heart were the poems from Alice in Wonderland...Now THAT speaks volumes

[Astro]

I was passed over for the part of the Mad Hatter, and lost all interest in it after that. Until I was older and had some 'dreamy' pastimes myself.

[Petra Vlah]

Since we are the "Society" it is our turn as individuals to "stand up and walk" to the benefit of all, by cutting the branches of injustice

[Astro]

You've got it Petra!

[Kristin Lee]

I like the message. If we don't take care of ourselves and be the change we wish to see, who will? I love the last stanza. We can ask for all the things in the world but it comes down to putting in the work. Well done.

[Astro]

Thanks pass it on. Together we can make things happen.

[Angi]

Amen. Just A~flippen~men, Astro. Angi~

[Astro]

Thanks Angi.

[quinfinn]

although i began to form a mental picture of there being no branch left, all whittled away...i was very pleasantly surprised to see that you took ANOTHER DIRECTION! damn, dude, you come up with some of the most provocative s**t, it is unreal! this is going right into my faves!!!!!

[Astro]

Thanks Quin this means a lot to me, I know I'm no expert but if I can get people thinking, it's my duty to do so. I'm very happy you enjoyed it that much.

[quinfinn]

this is great poetry....