Meteorological Metaphor

Life's weather

The weather of my being shapes me

Harsh winds of change tear from me 

Steel will like shingles

The pure force of letting go

Ill-formed ideas sculptured in the dark

Moments fall like snowflakes piling up

They start out as cool reflections

In the dreamy dawn of my innocence

Light mornings lay upon one another

Meshing and blanketing upon my life

Seasons afford me the strength to move

Beneath such weighted temporal shrouds

Burning as I do through patchwork 

Fabric made of time and space

I am hard but not frozen beneath the frost

Warm rains of emotion wear away stitching

Forming permanent holes in my memory

Running deeply it carves the ice from me

Until I'm left nearly naked, colder than before

Clasping icebergs from the past left in the flood

Eagerly I await the last thread's submergence

As falling paper floats down  and then lays

Upon the surface, out of time and drenched

Through with carrying heavy burdens

Content to stare up at the sun and evaporate

Author's Note

Just a metaphor on life. Reviews and comments always welcome.

Reviews

[quinfinn]

why was i picturing the Forrest Gump finish and hearing the "feather song" when reading this? because your poetry is that good! excellent!

[Astro]

Wow, another huge vote of confidence for me from you Quin. Thank you very much.

[quinfinn]

welcome!

[Petra Vlah]

A metaphore in life as you say and a great metaphor for that matter.
Just consider this: Warm rains of emotion wear away stitching" - it can't get better than this

[Astro]

Thank you for the compliment Petra, I'm glad you liked it.

[Vikrantsingh]

All Seasons in one poem wonderful :)
Loved it Astro :)

Cheers!
Singh :)

[Astro]

Thanks Singh. Cheers.

[Angi]

Astro, this piece drew me by the title and I wasn't disappointed. The last stanza was happening in my mind's eye while I read. I could see that paper float down on currents, slowly back and forth. ...and finally...land. It felt like a breath...a deep one. Angi~

[Astro]

Hey Angi, nice to hear from you again. Thanks for the review I'm glad you liked it. I usually try and make my titles somewhat unique or, attractive so that's great that you and a few others were brought to my virtual doorstep because of it.

[Angi]

I like to go browsing in the Cafe. Titles that grab me make me click them. This one did for sure. Angi~

[Astro]

:)

[Troy Henson]

The changes in this piece reflect the changes of life or as the seasons change we chnage with them.
I found this very descriptive and captivating to read and as always with your writing you keep the audience engaged with a nice flow.
Great writre
Regards

[Astro]

Thanks 77, glad you enjoyed it.

[zainul]

The very title of the poem delimited your intent to relate weather things to life.
I am very pleased to read the piece and found that its meaning might vary with each reading.
I agree with other reviewers about the merit of this piece.
Thanks for sharing such thought provoking poem.:)

[Astro]

My pleasure Zainul, I am glad it can be enjoyed moreover. Thank you very much.

[zainul]

You are most welcome,dear friend.:)

[Kristin Lee]

The layers of emotions and memories we make are permeable and ever changing...just like the weather or the seasons. Thus hard but not frozen beneath the frost. Beautiful analogies and metaphors is this piece. This piece has a much richer tenor than I've seen in your other work, more somber almost, reflective. While I love the playful side of your other works, I really enjoyed this piece. Its raw, instinctual and passionate in its own way. The more I read it the more I think its stunning.

[Astro]

It's the drugs. No, I just try and keep myself in a lighter mood day after day, as even for the lonely it can sometimes be the one thing that gets you through. For this one, I was forced to take a 'sobering' look at myself in the mirror so to speak and when I view my life, or 'life' in general I begin to see poetic parallels that flow like liquid crystal, both concrete and transparent thoughts. How's that for a complex sentence, lol. Thank you for the thoughtful review I'm glad it stands apart from some of my other work. This let's me know that my talents are broadening and I'm not just a one-trick-pony. ;)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

The thing that has the most impact on me in this piece is the way that your thoughts are portrayed in such a wondering, thoughtful manner. You have a deep, introspective nature to your being, which is characterized in your writing. Well done.

[Astro]

It's easier to know thyself deeply when it is only you who occupies the mind in the present. That may be a subconscious comment on my ego, or a humbling statement of solitude...I'm not sure which, lol. Thanks

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Haha "humbling statement of solitude"...I like that. Reminds me a little of the piece I just posted...it's sort of a metaphorical cycle of life and thought.

[Astro]

I was going more for the literal, but I'm sure I'll enjoy the added correlation with your piece when I get to it.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Perhaps...I just saw a paralell to the feelings I had when I was writing mine, that's all.

[Astro]

A shared wavelength how encouraging, like some cyber coffee talk about humanity. You're too modest, I've yet to read any of your fine work and not find it enjoyable. I hope I find time to read it tonight, but I have quite a few reviews to catch up on.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

You are very kind. :)

[Astro]

A little goes a long way they say. ;)

[Cool Handless Luke]

I am not one to confine myself in rhyme very often so I like what you have done here in stepping out and creating something that is thought provoking and deep on an intrinsic level...

Eagerly I await the last thread's submergence
As falling paper floats down and then lays
Upon the surface, out of time and drenched
Through with carrying heavy burdens
Content to stare up at the sun and evaporate

there is definitely substance in your ponderings here especially vivid in the imagery of your last verse. that very last line conjures images that will mean many things to many people. is this the winking out of life? is this the contemplation of heaven? and so on. i thinks perhaps you could read it multiple times and come up with multiple conclusions. which speaks to the depth of this piece.

[Astro]

Thanks a lot Luke, that was a very thoughtful and kind review of my poem. I quite often write in a way that offers a broad appeal and deep meaning.

[Dana Alsamsam]

often times weather can become cliche when compared to life, but i thought you did a wonderful job with it here! definitely pulled it off with some interesting and unexpected comparisons. this was my favorite part...
"Warm rains of emotion wear away stitching
Forming permanent holes in my memory
Running deeply it carves the ice from me
Until I'm left nearly naked, colder than before
Clasping icebergs from the past left in the flood"

I like how it starts with warm rain and ends with icebergs. this whole piece was very insightful and enjoyable to read.

[Astro]

Thanks Dana, I wanted to try and write something of substance that didn't rhyme. Glad someone thinks I pulled it off.