True Colors

Satisfaction starts the day. Not just by waking up but through them. They take care of that for me. Breakfast is a drag, thinking about what happened last night. I don’t know. Get dressed and go to my first class. Tally starts at one. Saw them in my first class. I smile. Not a happy smile but seductively. They like that. Left the classroom with no knowledge but the knowledge of them. I know they’re thinking and what they’re thinking about.

Walk back to my room the long way, doing the same to every one that I pass. Every other one, I give a memory trigger. Helps them to come back for more. Get back to my dorm, there’s a text. Then a snap. I reply.

Head to my favorite lunch spot and sit in the same seat. They always join in. We laugh. I impress. We talk. I move in. They like that. I leave with the locker room talkers. We share our tallies. I’m 3rd. Disappointed.

Rest of the day is a drag. Actually have to try and pretend that school matters. It’s 6:00. Drinks start. Drink. I pay. I want them to think I have money. I want them to think I care about them. Do I? Drink. Time to make a first move. Time to finish what I started in the classroom. Drink. Now everyone is getting in the groove of things. Every one. Who’s next? Tally is at three. Drink. Last call. Not mine. My last call is when I’m done. I’ve never been done before and I won’t be tonight. Tally is at five.

The night is over. At least out there. Not in here. In here, the tally is at six. They sleep over and the counter resets at zero, better known as self worth.

It’s all just a numbers game when they don’t care about you. They say they care but you don’t know their true colors, their motives, their history. That’s when the regret settles in.

Author's Note

Still developing this and would love feedback! What is the impression that you get from this? What gender is the speaker? Are there multiple speakers? Suggestions to add to this?