Norman and the Invisible Camel

A cautionary tale of animal experimentation

Norman and the Invisible Camel

Norman the famous Monkey inventor was having a busy day.  Since his shed disappeared he had to do his scientific work on the dining table in the kitchen.  It was causing a few problems, you had to be careful what you ate and drank in there.  Seamus already had a problem with a cup of tea that sent his hair blue for a week.  Now Norman was working on a potion for invisibility.  He had got the recipe off the internet and mixed the ingredients together.  The trouble was he had promptly lost it, it just burnt out the bottom of the test tube.  The second potion disappeared too.  Then he realised that it was supposed to do that, it was an invisibility formula after all.

Before he tried it on himself he needed to try it on something smaller to see how it reacted.  He had gone online and ordered a guinea pig.  This is a little furry creature that seems to know no fear when it comes to trying out new potions.  And they were guaranteed delivery within a day.  So he typed in his address and waited.

While he was waiting he made a cup of tea, making sure he didn’t get the sugar mixed up with the monosodium nitrate this time.  Last time it made his tea froth up and then burned through the bottom of his best mug.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.  He opened it, and there in front of him was a Camel, looking back at him.  It had twitching ears and big soft eyes, and two huge humps on it’s back.  Norman was confused so he looked closer.  The camel was wearing a collar that said his name; Steven.  And he had a note rolled up in his collar.

Dear Norman Monkey,

Here is your guinea pig, please note we have deducted £100 from your account.

Thank you for shopping at www.animals.mky.com

Norman sighed, they had clearly made a mistake.  At least the camel seemed friendly enough.  Norman checked the website’s helpdesk telephone number and went inside to phone them about the mistake.  Steven trotted in behind him.

Blooming websites couldn’t get anything right these days, thought Norman.  He rang up the help desk.. He pressed one to discuss an online purchase, pressed two to speak to an advisor, pressed four to speak to the errors department… and then was put on hold.  He groaned and waited.

Steven had a look around his new home.  Nice place, he thought, wonder what they have to eat and drink around here.  Aha, flowers in the back garden, yummy.  He needed a drink now, something in the kitchen perhaps?

He looked around the kitchen, and found a few things that looked like water in a test tube.  That stuff tasted nice, now what about the next tube?  Hmm, lemony. He felt a strange tickly feeling for a minute but it soon went away.  As he walked past a mirror he suddenly noticed something.  The mirror wasn’t working right because he couldn’t see himself in it, just the things around him.  Perhaps he should tell the Monkey?

Norman was chatting on the phone to the bored people on the help desk.  “Yes, no, I did order a guinea pig but they sent me a camel instead.. No I didn’t want a camel, just a guinea pig.  What do you mean three days to changed them over?  Your people just dropped him off.  Can’t you get them back to pick him up?”

He looked around, where had the Camel gone?  “Steven?”  No sign of him, was he outside? “Hang on, helpdesk woman, I will have to call you back later.”  He hung up.
“Steven?  Steeeeven?  Here boy?” He called.

Norman checked the kitchen, and found to his horror that three of the test tubes had been spilt or drank.  Oh no!  The Camel had drank the invisibility formula!

He looked around in panic.  In the back garden some flowers Seamus had planted were now missing their heads.  He wouldn’t be very happy about that.

Something nudged him gently in the back, then something thick and wet ran itself over his ear.  Yuck.  It was Steven, saying hello.

Norman grabbed his neck gently and led him over to the table.  He couldn’t see him but he could feel him just fine.  He opened the Camel’s mouth gently and looked inside.  He couldn’t see an inside either.  He turned around to get some tools and suddenly he heard the door open, the invisible Camel had escaped!

Norman ran out into the street, terrified that a car might run him over without seeing him.  “Steven!  Steeeeven!”

He had one thing that might work though.  In his bits he had a pair of infra-red goggles.  These are a good bit of kit that allow you to see hot objects, such as people shapes or hot car engines.  They are used by the police and the army sometimes, but they are really expensive.   Perhaps they would even see an invisible Camel.

He walked down the street with the goggles strapped over his eyes.  “Steven!”  He called.  Everybody thought he was looking for a cat or a dog or something.

He suddenly noticed four camel print footsteps leading out of a puddle but no sign of a camel.  He had definitely been this way then.

He past a flower stall where a man was trying to sweep up a basketful of headless flowers.  Probably Steven’s favourite.  Suddenly among the crowd Norman noticed two humps in the background.  There he was!  Norman barged his way through the crowd towards the two humps.

Steven had been enjoying his first day out.  The flowers were delicious and the air was fresh.  Oh no, here comes that Monkey again, who wanted to send him back to the shop.  Steven made a run for it.

“Steven, come back!”  Norman ran down the precinct looking like a madman, chasing practically nothing.  People thought he was off his head.  Look at that silly Monkey.

Steven gave him the slip and found a ladies wear shop.  Maybe there was something here to eat?  He looked around.  He saw some brown roots sticking out of a stand that said LIPSTICK or something.  He had to have a munch of that…

Joan the shop assistant had the fright of her life when the lipsticks she was fixing suddenly flew into the air and started disappearing.  In front of her she could make out a Camel’s mouth as Steven made a mess of himself eating her lipsticks.  After he had done he gave her a big wet lick, covering her in multi-coloured drool.

Norman was attracted by the noise and caught up with him just as he was running out of the shop.  “Steven, wait!” He called.  He needed something to rope him in with.  In the ladies wear shop there was a feather boa, like a length of furry feathery string that ladies sometimes like to wear to look fancy.  He borrowed that and went off in pursuit.

Steven wasn’t ready to give in just yet, he ran off into the road, only his messy lips visible.  Norman hailed a passing taxi and got in the back.

“Follow that Camel!” He ordered.

“Eh?  What Camel mate?”  Asked the driver.  Was this Monkey off his head or something?

“Here, you had better wear these.”  He tore the Infra red goggles off his head and planted them over the drivers eyes.

“Oh yeah, now I see him.  Right matey, hold on to something.”  Screeeech!  This cab driver was a former racing driver, known as ‘dangerous’ Darren.

They drove faster in pursuit.  Steven was still ahead but he turned to see the Monkey chasing him in a taxi.  Oh no!  He trotted faster.

‘dangerous’ Darren managed to get up enough speed to get along side the Camel.  Norman got onto the roof of the taxi and tied the feather boa into a loose loop called a lasso.  You may have seen the cowboys use them to catch cows in the old films.

Norman swung it around his head, twirling it faster and faster.  Finally he threw it, and it landed around Steven’s neck.  Steven tugged hard and pulled Norman off the roof of the Taxi.  Norman landed on the ground and was pulled along until he could pull himself up on to Steven’s back.  Then he pulled the Lasso back as far as he could so Steven had to stop.

“Woah boy.. There you go.. Good Camel.”  Said Norman, sat in thin air to the view of all around him.

‘dangerous’ Darren and Norman managed to push him into the back of the taxi, to the amusement of the passers-by who couldn’t see the camel and wondered what on earth these two were trying to do.

By the time Norman and Steven got home Seamus and Raffles were back from their day out.  They saw Norman coming down the driveway with one arm stuck up in thin air, apparently holding something.

“Hello Norman, I see you left the front door open again.  What have you been up to today then?” Asked Seamus.

“Oh not much, matey.  But, well, we have a new pet, I think.”

Seamus looked at a feather boa tied in a loop, hanging in mid air.  “Erm what kind of new pet?”

“Well Seamus, say hello to our new friend, the invisible Camel, Steven.”

Seamus looked hard into thin air, wondering where on earth the Camel was supposed to be.  As he looked he suddenly felt something smooth, warm and very wet run itself right over his face.

It was just Steven’s way of saying hello.


THE END