A Breath In The Dying Silence

I wrote this 5/6/2010. I still have the original paper and everything. It means a lot, I guess that's how I felt with Drudan.

Just another room, the light gleaming through,
The curtains just parted, the dust shrowding the view,
An old wooden chest, with a rose and a photograph,
Of a little girl and boy, their faces bright, with a laugh.
Nothing more in the room, the grey of the night,
She stood silently in the doorway, not a thing in sight,
Returned from the journey, she'd taken long ago,
But now she begs of the past, for the seeds she had to soe.
All dressed in black, her matted hair in her face,
Coming back to her old home, such a desolate place,
Memories were screaming, the voices we calling,
Her soul was screaming inside, her soul was falling.

Her little brother, sitting on the swing,
How tightly his little hands did cling,
Higher and higher, how high did he fly,
So close, his little boots could touch the sky.
He laughter escaped, and he swings some more,
When inside he was dying, how fragile was his core.

And then, she breathed in the silence,
Foverevermore in her head would be the violence,
Thoughts screaming out, ripping her sanity away,
Just like how her brother was taken away that day.
She sought not to regret, but it had eaten too far,
Death was her plea, to rid her of this painful scar,
A rose to the wrist, and she bled slowly dry,
Clutching the photograph to her chest as she did cry.

Author's Note

Tell me what you think!

Reviews

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Very sad...haunting. I felt the heartache. This is stunning! You have showcased your talent for writing an emotive piece. Great write!

"Memories were screaming, the voices we calling,
Her soul was screaming inside, her soul was falling.
Her little brother, sitting on the swing,
How tightly his little hands did cling,
Higher and higher, how high did he fly,
So close, his little boots could touch the sky.
He laughter escaped, and he swings some more,
When inside he was dying, how fragile was his core."~ Wow!!




Misspelled Soe- "Sow"

[Nichole Juliet Hemstock]

:) thank you soo much. And I wrote it a year or two ago and I forogot about the spelling errors. Lol blame copy and paste.
Thank you for a great review!

[Robbie~xoxo~]

I love it...it's beautiful. Heartbreaking.

[Emrys Realmskip]

"Memories were screaming, the voices we calling,
Her soul was screaming inside, her soul was falling."
I love these lines the most ^^^
I also love how long this is, it builds up the tension and leave the reader wanting more, this piece is one of my favorites as of now!
WONDERFUL job! :)
Keep Writing your great!
Savvy

[Nichole Juliet Hemstock]

Ahh! Thank you! :)

[Emrys Realmskip]

Yup! :)

[Michael of Gilead]

Very strong write, very emotional

[Nichole Juliet Hemstock]

Ughh, I didn't even notice the errors in grammar until after i read over it. :|