Am I pretty now?

A excerpt from my memoir

When I was in third grade I had a teacher named Mrs. Sorrow. Mrs. Sorrow represented her melancholy surname well, not with her bubbling personality, but with her jarring physical features. For her pale face drooped in such an unfavorable way, it  seemed that she was in an constant state of discontentment, bringing visions of evil clowns and other creepy persons and horrors to my mind whenever I glanced at her for long periods. I recall while Mrs. Sorrow would lecture us on how to use transitive verbs properly or something equally boring, I would just stare at her make-up laden, drooping, face and wonder why in God’s name she looked like she had just sprung from a horror movie.

After a few months into the school year got used to her, and the images of her sucking the life out of bunnies and playing kick ball with the souls of loss children, that  I previously envisioned, subsided and in my mind she faded into the ambiguous category of adults. The week before Christmas Holidays, I finally found out the mystery of her terrible, drooping, face. Mrs. Sorrow, my delightful, yet oddly disfigured teacher was addicted to plastic surgery! According to my mother, who had spoken to Mrs. Sorrow about my recent bad conduct grade, Mrs. Sorrow was planning on getting a nose job during the break. It was the fifth surgery she’s had on her face for three years! Some people buy cars, new clothes, or even a house, but Mrs. Sorrow bought herself a new face when her mid-life crisis came around! When Mrs. Sorrow came back after the break, bandages cuddled between her muddy, bright eyes as she taught and they somehow were able to temper her usually harsh face. Later on in the school year she received another surgery, for what I cannot recall. For time blurs details. Despite Mrs. Sorrow’s memorable plastic surgery addiction, she was least memorable of my primary school teachers. And though we spent a entire year together, all Mrs. Sorrow has become to me is a blob of caked on make up, time table lectures, and white bandages. This makes me immensely sad.

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[AK]

Nice story!

I must admit, the irony between her name and her choices really stood out to me. The second paragraph definately caught me off guard. I was expecting something a little different. A very interesting read indeed.

[gaurav roy]

I guess the teacher of yours was not consulting a proper surgeon, thats why the plastic surgery wasn't paying off, On a serious note, It reflects the inner conflict very well,I would have liked it, if it would have been longer, and ,more description about the teacher's conflict.

[qaralynn]

like the story!

[Marximilien]

I liked the story. I didn't expect at the second paragraph that the teacher was addicted to surgery. LOL. It sounds to me like she gets the opposite of the result she's expecting. Even though she beautifies herself by plastic surgery, I can see that it has made her face terrible. LOL. I am really surprised by this story. Great.

I think you should work out on the use of articles.

[Mischa Keats]

By reading almost all of your writing, it has become clear to me that you are very strongly opinionated. However, I don't think you execute your ideas properly. It's obvious that you are young, and new to writing. This started out pretty good, but your meter suddenly sped up as you continued on writing. You took a very long time in your exposistion, but the conflict/crisis of your "memoir" was skipped over. I would like to see you expand more on the last paragraph.

[A.Lee]

Good job. It sounds just like a memoir (i know it is, i say that because those are hard for a lot of people to write). Well done. Nice choice of descriptive words.

[gimpy]

people so uncomfortable with ther selves that they fell like they need to make themselves over focassing only on what is horrible and never what is good but I am only a boy 14 years of age what do I know

[Idris]

...And this is something wrote in a moment of memories. Forgetting a lady like that in writing is a rare read. Thanks.