The start of Mary's season

I experienced my season the summer of 1946, the starting point being my first real kiss with a boy. I remember that June day well, my friend Samantha and I went to a party, one of the first boy- girl parties my tyrant like father let me go to. We both were wearing falsies that Sam was somehow able to procure from her older sister and bright red lipstick I slipped from my mother’s makeup stand. Feeling like movie stars in our appropriated gear we knew we would be the so called bells of the ball, oh how far off we were.

When we arrived a the basement where the party was being held  and we saw a good twenty or thirty kids about our age; milling around, dancing near a large record player, playing games on the couches , and basically doing everything considered appropriate to the host’s parents that were chaperoning the party. However, about thirty minutes after I arrived the chaperone of the party, Daniela Muller’s father, grumbled something about a baseball game and went upstairs, leaving a gaggleof pre-teens in a basement together. It took about a ten minutes for all of us to set up a game of spin the bottle and 23 minutes after in the game for Tommy Lister to spin on me. After the group made sure the spin was true and we had no objections, the two of us were forced by Roger Wells into a small closet smelling of old pine and mold and commanded us to “start romancing”, because we only had three minutes.

 

Well, Tommy must have taken that command seriously, because after that door closed, he pounced on me like a famished kitten and it was all I could do to pull that darn boy off me. Then I gave him the scolding of his life, I swear, I could hear him whimpering from the insults I said about him and his “good for nothing brother”. Even though , I would have let him kiss me, just so I could've had at least a half way decent kiss to brag to about to Sam. After about a minute from our “romancing”, which like was an eternity back then, we were let out, our faces blushing from the shame of our sure to be gossiped about kiss. We avoided eye contact from each other the whole night, continuing until we were both juniors in high school.

            When I finally got home from that party, and looked around my room, at all the raggedy Anns and paper doll’s I’d collected from my childhood, I strangely felt not pure enough to look at them, more so play with them. I felt like ripping each of their heads off, for being able to stay the same, while I changed. Back then, I could not understand why. I just had my first kiss! Sure it wasn’t a perfect Audrey Hepburn kiss, but it was something and according to Sam “magical”. But,  Sam wasn’t there, in that wretched moment and I could not help from feeling spoiled and hating Tommy for ever touching me. Raging in my prepubescent bedroom wearing my party clothes which still reeked mildly of pine was the start of my season. I understood then, that I was becoming one of them………….. a grown up. And even though my toys would always be the same, I was changing, changing into something I dread to this very day, mature.

Reviews

[Warrior]

Great story telling. This did justice in the realm of getting the message across. Great message. There's lot of times where a story can have a great message to aim for, and have a lot of under lining things but then no one gets it, and if no one gets it, then the point has failed. But in my opinion this did well to get the message across. You made it clear, which is why I think it's good. Keep up the good work. What was also great was that I could imagine the story as I read it, and that is also a strong point of stories. The ability to have the reader imagine it because after all we're reading not watching it, but it was as if I was there as I read this, and that is great. Great visuals and great story telling. It had plot and substance. When you add substance to writing it gets that much better. It gets the reader hooked on it and make them feel as if they are part of it. As long as their is that emotional connection between the reader and the story then it's good. The connection you were able to established in the writing gives the reader a sense of comfortably that they are in tune with the writing. So that way when the writing is over, the reader wants more, and wishes it didn't end. I feel the same way when I watched a movie or tv series that I get so attached to, I never want it to end. And for this writing, I didn't want it to end. You had me hooked, and I am sure everyone else who read it was hooked as well. That is good, that is what you want for people to keep wanting more. The way you put the story together makes me feel like my life is different for that moment in which I read your story. I love it, and it was beautiful. Just keep posting stories like this, and you'll have a good following.

[Prodigo]

You know what my favorite reviews are? When people tell you to keep writing when you're obviously better than they are. LOL nice work

[Lauren Marie]

I liked this a lot. It was straightforward and to the point but I could still picture it all going on in my head.
Ahh turning into a grown up is an ... interesting feeling to say the least. I'm hoping I haven't fully reached this point yet. :)
But anyways, this is a very well executed story. Brilliant job.

[Ecnelis]

I liked this piece. I felt it was well done and your descriptions were nice. Though there are some stylistic points and some punctuation issues( "………….. a grown up." try to avoid using more than 3 periods. My english/creative writing teacher beat the habit out of me with nine different pens.) that could be changed, the overall message is very clear and the emotion and confusion is vivid.

I think my favorite part is when she returns from the party and she is almost assaulted by the innocence of her room. It was incredibly real and very easy to relate to.

[J.R Schlievert]

This was a very straightforward story, I enjoyed it well. It's a very convincing story with the well-thought-out descriptions, was very well done. It seems like you're afraid to grow up, to mature. And this character that you betray must be a reflection of your own self-conscious. Keep on writing!