Tease Mawray - The stuff dreams are made of - Burt's world

Reminiscing, memories, two cops, a boat ride

Tease Mawray �" The stuff dreams are made of �" Burt’s world.

You know how sometimes, but not often, your reminded of something or someone? Well it happened to me the other day. I was reminded of “Burt the shank”, a fellow I use to work with. Although challenging, and as a policeman, I have fond memories working along side him.

Memories are great things, but you can’t always control when they pop into your mind. I think the moment has to be just right, like all the planets are aligned; you know, like that.

It was the smell of sweet onions on the grill that triggered my memory this time. My partner Burt’s cologne smelled like sweet onions, and I told him so.
Anyway, it was the smell of onions that did it. Memories are memories, what’s a guy to do.

Looks like about thirty people showed up for Burt "the shank’s” funeral. It’s anybody’s guess what “shank” stood for, but hey, catchy.

It’s not that he had thirty friends, but that roast chicken and rosemary baked potatoes were being served for guests; and among other less savory things, a dish his pretty young wife was legendary for.

All in all, it can be said Burt "the shank" was a kind fellow, but it was never said he was loved; for in Burt "the shank’s” world, there was right and wrong; fair was never an option when women were involved.

It was simple for Burt, you hurt them, you pay; and in his world, it’s not that you may or may not have hurt the vulnerable, but rather (as told once over cold beers long ago) it was that someone thought so. And as the big guy put it to me, he was not willing to take the chance you knew how to lie or that you may be a good actor. He would rather bring you chocolates and flowers in “emergency” for making a mistake, than to think he failed to act, failed to help a damsel in distress.

Like I said, kind, but a long way from fair, that was my friend Burt "the shank”.

Burt knew the “new” definition of an officer’s duty had surpassed him; become too complicated for his generation, too political, too confining for his “delicate spirit” as he put it on more than one occasion while explaining his motives for something questionable that he did while on duty. My neck had a constant cramp in it, from looking the other way.

For me, and regarding the way he died, if anyone asked, “why did he do it, he knew better?” I would have to tell them, “he wanted to “go out” doing what he loved; protecting and bringing justice to the most vulnerable among us.”

I would have to say, “that’s why he stepped in front of that MTA city bus; to protect that girl and her mom in the cross-walk.” I would add, he’s nobody’s hero; but in hind sight how was he to know there was no driver behind the wheel when he stepped out in front of it and held up his badge to make it stop? How was he to know, the bus’s emergency brake failed?

It was on that bright sunny San Francisco afternoon the accident happened. As luck would have it, witnesses agree, the bus was doing about thirty miles per hour when it struck the big guy and carried him the rest of the way down that two and a half mile counter balance roller-coaster street.Sunny day and all, the screaming and yelling still haunt me.

If you were there, you would have to say it was comical; the way that MTA driver-less bus flew down that steep San Francisco hill.

I was standing at the bottom of that steep hill, eating a fresh cannoli, waiting for Burt to drive down in the squad car and pick me up for work; when all of a sudden, I heard yelling and screams! I looked up just in time to see that MTA bus flying towards me; careening off parked cars, with Burt "the shank” pasted to the front grill! It was hilarious at first; how the nineteen-forties’ big chrome front bumper held him up off the pavement, and his anti-fashion lime green sport coat got tangled up on the windshield wipers and held up the rest of his body; pressed against the big shiny windows, arms spread; crazy it was, and funny as hell!

I thought he had a chance, but after that cantaloupe truck pulled out from the loading dock, and the bus plowed into it, my hopes were dashed. Hell, the collision drove both rigs, skidding and metal on metal screaming, half a block down the hill!

The excitement ended when both rigs plowed through the wooden, hand carved, ten-foot-tall Italian neighborhood “Historic Harbor” sign and railing, and into the harbor! The seals got all pissed off and were screaming and splashing water on everyone. Really something to see.

I couldn’t believe my eyes. By the time the first squad car arrived, a massive crowd of Italian fisherman had gathered, all were laughing and waving their arms pointing at the water. It seems they all thought there was another Dirty Harry film being made; they were all excited looking for the movie cameras so they could get in front of them and be famous.

The fervor grew when thousands of cantaloupes came floating to the surface; but the mood quickly soured when Burt’s body came shooting out of the water; kind of like a big stuffed doll.

Don’t know what made it shoot out of the water like that; and for a minute, and still thinking it was a movie set; onlookers burst out in hurrahs and cheers while holding onto one another in some kind of Italian festival dance.

The seriousness of the scene finally set in when police put out barricades and the coast guard boat showed up with the "big fish hook". A sullen mood overtook revelers when the young coast guard crew members struggled to lift the lifeless Burt over the railing and onto the vessel.His favorite lime green sport coat was ruined!

I could not help but remember how resilient the fishermen were; and not to be outdone, the wives jumped into the bay and started tossing ripe cantaloupes to teasing cheering onlookers! Giddy they waited their turn for fresh ripe fruit, some got one, some got two. A festive time for some, and as I remember Burt and his favorite lime green sport coat stuck to the front of that MTA bus, sadness for others.

Hey, buy another beer, or get the hell out!

Oops, time for me to go, the locals are coming in.