China Roar

Simple travel story, simple Christmas story.

China Roars

 

     Pant legs rolled up and warm sea foam tickling my toes, what could be better!  Every year I stand barefoot in the sand listening to the roar of the Pacific's waves. 

      It's December and Mainland China is celebrating again, I can hear it and feel it in my toes. 

      Every year, millions of Chinese workers drink Sake' and laugh at the Americans and Europeans during December. 

      Their unpublicized ritual coincides with the invention of 'mini-Christmas-light strings' and the reconstruction of massive assembly plants across China. 

      It's that time of year again when factories are alive with thousands of tireless workers assembling those brilliant Christmas light strings for us, Americans, and Europeans can't live without them. 

      Every year and as expected, the ocean's mist starts collecting on my glasses as I stare at the last sunset before news of their grand celebration, carried on Asian winds lands on our shores; the excitement is almost too much for me, waiting for the memory to reappear is mana. 

      One would think this grand celebration is the pinnacle of pride for millions of workers with paying jobs in a suffering society, but instead, deafening laughter from millions of loyal Chinese workers travel across the Pacific to pay homage to one individual.      

      As a child, I traveled with my aunt extensively, and while traveling across China on one of her business trips, I remember seeing huge banners hanging from the rafters in assembly plants throughout the great country depicting the face of a simple man.  One could imagine the country's ruler or a sacred war hero, but instead, hanging on hand-woven massive highly decorative golden silk and cotton cloth pendants in each of the three thousand Christmas factories was the likeness of Won Bing Lee! 

      As every year, my dearest friends are with me, warmed by a massive driftwood fire. I cannot help but smile to myself when I think of how long I'm going to make them wait.  How long I can keep my secret this time is anybody's guess, but I'm going to try to break last year's record. 

     Like it was yesterday, I remember my excitement upon seeing the ritual for the first time with my aunt, an incredible naturalist, world traveler, and wonderful woman who spent years tutoring and loving her only grandson.

      When I tell the story to others, my listeners can hardly wait to ask, "What had Won Bing Lee done to earn such praise?"  I would pause and dig my toe in the warm white sugary sand to drag out the finale.  

      Every time I tell the story, I selfishly keep my secret to myself and bask in the attention of my audience the roaring fire and breathe in the precious salt air just a little longer. 

      This time, before whispering my precious news to my captives, I will tease them again by telling them Won Bing Lee is responsible for one of China's greatest annual celebrations! 

      I will watch them intently as they try to be the first to think of the answer; of course, I know they never will, geniuses and life's artistic spectators all. 

      I will wait until the pressure is too much, and I see the hurt on their faces before telling them, "Won Bing Lee was the much-celebrated Chinese worker, who many years ago coined the phrase "If one bulb burns out, the rest stay lit!" 

      Before they regroup, I add, "This simple but infamous Chinese worker subsequently gained his freedom to live in the countryside with a family he had not seen since his 13-year detention by saving the Christmas bulb production in China!" 

      As we all know, this famous phrase is on every package of multi-colored Christmas bulbs exported from China! 

      The ritualistic raucous laughter stems from the disbelief that Europeans and Americans are so gullible they believed the statement on the packaging, "If one bulb burns out, the rest stay lit!" 

       While watching their faces, I would tell my guests, "Even as a small child, when I first heard the story, I laughed until my sides began to hurt!"

        I will go on to explain the phrase was an unfortunate attempt by the Chinese to gain favor with Americans and Europeans! 

      Later condemned as a rancid attempt at American humor; millions of Americans and Europeans reacted with the usual splendid and snobbish display of candor they were known for; they paid twice the normal price for these 'keepsake' strings of lights in an attempt to feign ignorance of China's perception of foreign gullibility. 

      It was at this time in history a legend was born, the "Christmas Fools" legend.  These special historical events were recorded in writings as Chinese lore and mysticism but as national pride would have it, kept secret from the outside world! 

      The Chinese perception of America's indulgence was ridiculous!  Chinese being the sensitive people they are, simply reply every year 'in kind' with loud contemptuous laughter during the month of December. 

      Passed from generation to generation and depending on the province, the "Celebration of Laughter" or "Celebration of Lights" or "Celebration of Fools" will always hold a dear and sacred place in the Chinese working man's hearts and souls as a moment of equality amongst races.  This precious moment in Chinese, American, and European détente must forever be celebrated; hence, the very loud roar of laughter from across the Pacific seas will always be a constant reminder of how much the Chinese love Americans, Europeans, and their collective ability to remain examples of what is good in the world. 

      They love the game.  All countries like a good laugh, and grow stronger if that laugh is on us.  Just as we have all cried tears, we share a common bond. 

      On the other hand, because of the actions of a few gullible ancestors and a pinch of snobbery and arrogance, Americans and Europeans are forever bound to continue the absurd practice of paying twice the normal price for inferior strings of Christmas lights, which, as we well know, will never stay lighted if one light on the string burns out!  In addition, the Chinese in all their humor know it! 

      There you have it, the "China Roar".

      I will then collect my dear friends and march them to the sea's edge, I will shhh., them like every year, and we will all stand listening intently, trying dearly to hear the great Chinese Roar, trying so intently to be one with our friends across the seas.

      One day I hope to return to China around Christmas, and during my stay, I will stand on one of their shores, dig my toes in the warm sand, and try with all my heart to remember the great love my aunt and I were shown upon her last visit, her last voyage.

      For lack of a better word, I will call these precious Christmas charms "Multi-Colored-Mini-Christmas Lights" The End.