Those Damnable Deathclaws

Ellis and Arcade get attacked. And they're kinda sorta successful.

Ellis and I panted, hard. We were stuck on a rock overlooking what my companion described to be "Deathclaw-f*****g-city." Tiny pops and explosions came from Ellis' gun as he fired rapidly. My own weapon shot off little balls of lime- green plasma, which was pretty effective against those demon standing cats with horns if I do say so myself.
"Rex is down there," I shouted over the sound of our guns. "We can't just leave him."
"Leaving was never an option," Ellis replied back. He reloaded his weapon, which took a considerable amount of time considering our situation. "I'm going down there," he told me. I looked at him like he was crazy.
"You what? Did that bullet to the head scramble up your brains? Are you f*****g insane? You're going to get killed!"
"And so is Rex if we let him stay down there." He turned on his Pip-Boy and scrolled through it. "I'm going to give you these sticks of dynamite. When I give the signal, a whistle, throw them. Just don't hit me or Rex, or I will come back up here."
He placed in my hand five clay-red sticks of dynamite. Then he slowly, almost hesitantly, gave me one grenade. I held the green pineapple thing in my hand. "If I get killed," he started out slowly, "and you can't handle them, I want you to blow those fuckers to s**t and get the hell out of here."
"But that's not going to happen, right?" I asked, my stomach clenching in nervousness. Ellis slowly reached up and patted my shoulder, but he didn't confirm or deny my worries. He turned to do something with his gun, and I raised my own weapon and continued firing. There were only five Deathclaws left, but that was more than I'd ever seen in my life. Rex was laying, motionless, in the distance. A female Deathclaw stood over him, guarding him as if he were a prize. Ellis kneeled and continued firing, and dispatched a small male with a headshot. I focused on the large male coming in behind that one. Ellis slid down the hill, pulling out a weapon he gained in battle, Nephi's Golf Driver. He ran for it, holding the driver down with both hands. I kept the Deathclaws mostly busy, but as you may or may not know, one man can't do everything. Even if he is the great and glorious Arcade Gannon, me. I shouted, gaining Ellis' attention. He turned his waist and cracked the incoming Deathclaw upside the head with his driver. It was stunned enough that it stumbled back, just into my line of fire. The female that had been guarding Rex and another male were all that were left. Ellis let out a sharp whistle that made me jump a little. The signal! I lit two of the five dynamite and chucked them as hard as my flimsy white arms could. One landed right at Ellis' feet. Oh, s**t. Oh, s**t. Oh, s**t. Woops. The two demon cat things were gaining on him, and the female was in slashing range. Ellis dove out of the way just as the dynamite exploded, turning the female into a fine red mist. The other dynamite had been a dud apparently, because it did nothing. I waited for the dust and sand to clear before checking on Ellis. I heard the roar of an enraged male Deathclaw, and my stomach clenched in fear.
"Ellis! The male!" I cried out.
There was no response. The dust was just barely beginning to settle, and I could see the faint outline of a body moving around on the sand. Over it, I saw the large, looming shadow of a Deathclaw, and I could only hope it was injured. A hand emerged from the cloud of dust and gripped the ground. Ellis was pulling himself across the sand. Once he emerged fully, I got to see his legs. Oh dear f*****g lord. They were a mess. They looked like ground Brahmin meat, and the only thing holding them together were the tendons. Blood covered his pants, and I presumed the ground, but the explosion had shot so much sand into his legs that the blood flow had been stopped. I hurried down the rocks, stumbling over a loose pile of stones. I tripped over a particularly big rock and was sent plummeting down. I rolled and tumbled, smacking against rock and cacti alike. Pain searched through my abdomen when I reached the bottom. I was pretty sure I had broken a rib. Or four. I pushed myself off the hot sand, coughing and hacking the grit from my mouth. The cloud of dust had settled by now, and I could see the Deathclaw clearly. It had been cut up like Swiss cheese by shrapnel, but it was still too full of rage to quit. However, both of its legs had been badly damaged, and it was having trouble. It stumbled towards my injured courier friend, who was pulling himself through the sand towards Rex. I reached down for my gun and found it missing. S**t! It had probably fallen out of its holster when I tumbled down the rock oh-so-gracefully. I reached into my doctor's coat and pulled out the lead pipe Ellis had given me just in case. I ran, my left leg cramping and flaring eith pain. I reached the Deathclaw with little effort, and cracked it in the back with the pipe. It turned to me, howled, and smacked me with the back of its paw-hand-thing. I grabbed onto it, letting it swing me around. The pipe slipped from my hand, rolling away in the sand. I pounded against it with the fist that wasn't desperately clinging for my life. The Deathclaw was trying to shake me and pry me off with its other arm, but only succeeded in slashing my back to s**t. Then I remembered it: the grenade! I swung my arm into my pocket and pulled the grenade out, my sweaty palms almost dropping it. I yanked the pin with my teeth and shoved the green explosive into that evil cat thing's mouth. I let go, dropping to the sand. I scrambled away, towards Ellis. During the struggle I hadn't noticed he had stopped moving. Oh, s**t, oh, don't let him be dead. I had just thrown myself over Ellis' immobile body when the sound of an explosion echoed through the air. The heat hit us second, followed by a spray of blood, and hail of guts and organs. I lifted myself off Ellis, then grabbed a hold of his shoulder and shook. He was limp, like a doll. I turned him over, cringing. He chest looked like s**t, and dragging himself through the sand probably hadn't helped. He just had to be the f*****g hero.
"Ellis?" I asked, leafing through my pockets. I checked his pulse quickly, and my heart lept into my throat. Oh, thank the lord. He was still alive. I found what I had been searching for in my pocket, and pulled out the two needles. The glass was dirty, but I knew for a fact the needles were clean. Inside the dirty glass a glowing red juice sloshed around when I moved it. I injected one of the needle's contents into my courier friend's left leg, and the other needle went to his right leg. I watched as his bones began to rapidly regrow, followed by his muscles snapping back into place. Connective tissues went back into place, and he groaned. He took a fistful of sand and then let it slide through his fingers.
"F**k my f*****g life. F**k," he hissed. I lifted him, putting his arm around my shoulders.
"Come on, I can't do all the work by myself," I said, groaning with the effort of lifting Ellis and his heavy equipment. Out of the corner of m eye I noticed Rex stumble up. Ellis pushed upwards with his legs, stumbling along. He clutched at my shoulder, hissing and groaning in pain. We made it to a small abandoned shack, and I kicked the door open. Rex dashed into the shade, and I poked my head into the lean-to. There was a trap-automatic shotgun, but it looked as though it had already been set off. I picked a rock up from the outside and tossed it anyway. The shotgun got knocked off the shelf it had been on, but didn't fire. I pulled Ellis inside onto a mattress, kicking off the skeleton that had been occupying it onto the floor.
"F**k me f*****g sideways. Everything hurts, Arcade."
"Sleep, maybe you'll feel better when you wake up."
"Yeah, you can say that while you're able to stand." Ellis scrolled through his Pip-Boy on his arm, selecting a Med-X. He chewed on the white pill, his eyes closing. Not even two minutes later his breath had softened out, and I knew he was asleep. Rex whined, pushing his nose against my knee.
"He'll be fine, boy," I reassured, petting Rex's brain case. "But, note to self. F*****g hate Deathclaws."

Reviews

[MadeCheaply]

Long and intense my dear