the 93 day

A Story by Alyssa joi

an eshort story avout to lovers who were seperated, finaly getting to see eachother, how that moment is, and the moments leading up to it.

For 92 days, I have felt the ticks and tocks of time, as precious, irreplaceable moments slither out of my grip, and burn to ashes, wasted. The sun has risen and set to the beat of my yearning heart, with ought an ounce of emotion or slight change, as if a blanket of numbness covers me throughout every single thing I do. The big, as well as the microscopic. My dreams are filled with faceless stick figures, unable to hear or be heard, unable to see, unable to touch and be touched, and with nothing to breath out of, they have nothing to do but die, and the space between the lines that was once so easy for me to read has become hazy and purely unreadable. I- Jaimy Rogers - the once sunny, passionate girl has become an everlasting forecast of rain storms and other natural disasters. This is the stuffy sarcophagus of a life that I try to pass off as happiness, but really, it’s just another day without him.

At 12:01 am, on the ninety third day of tick tock orchestras and empty actions, I’m woken up by the loud trill of my cell phone. I stumble out of bed, flipping my right leg over the side, then the left, and practically sleep walk to my bed side table, instead of rolling over the unused, perfectly preserved half of my queen size bed. Rubbing my eyes, I struggle to see the number, but make out the first three- 504- which is all need, because I know, no one would call me from that area code, let alone this late at night, except for him. My arm lunges toward the phone like a dehydrated mans would a glass of water. I bring it to my ear, put my thumb right over the answer button, and then freeze up because I was remembering that we haven’t talked for months, and remembering how hard I’ve worked and all the trouble I’ve gone through to avoid anything that will put him back in my head. All of a sudden my brain comes up with a list of,”what ifs”, so long, it touches the moon, and the answers are all negative, but then my heart, the stupid, foolish heart that I have kept locked away for ninety- two days, comes in with a blow torch, with the words, “What does he have to say,” written on the side in bold. That question tumbles around my skull for a bit, and is the reason why I finally get the courage to press the button, and croak out, “Hello?”

He must have been taken aback by my voice because it took him a good, 30 seconds to whisper just loud enough for me to hear, “Jaimy,” but I understood why, because as soon as his voice danced along my eardrums, my heart fell through the floor, and kept falling, until it was beating right in the devils face. I didn’t think my heart would be able to survive this…whatever this was , and was just about to hang up, when the cap popped off of his mouth an words started pouring out of him, like they’d been bottled up for a long time and refuse to be held in any longer.”Jaimy”, he started again,” There’s not enough time for me to explain all the missed calls and ignored messages, but I need you to know this: I need you to know that I love you, and I haven’t forgotten a thing. Jaimy, I miss you, and tonight is the last straw for me, I’m driving down there to see you, tonight, and nothing will stop me. Okay Jaimy?” He paused, waiting for me to reply, but nothing would come out. I would choke on the words halfway up my throat.”Look, I know I don’t have the right to confess all this to you now, I lost that, the minute I decided to listen to the phone ring instead of your voice, but if you still feel just a drop of the way I do, somewhere in your heart, meet me at our spot, at the usually time, I hope to see you there… I love you”, then a click and silence,

The phone call was over, but my mind was lagging behind, still trying to comprehend what I had just been told. He said I love you, I kept thinking. Over and over I replayed his words, tattooing them inside my mind until it hit me:He’s coming. My head whips over to the clock, taking note that it is now 1:00am, meaning I’ve been sitting her like a little school girl, twirling my hair for about forty-five minutes, when I have only two and a half hours until I need to meet him since, our usual time was 3:30. It was time to panic. Slightly shaking, as I walk to my bathroom. I start thinking, what am I going to wear? What should I do with my makeup? Then I come face to face with my mirror and - Oh my god, look at my hair! My hair looked like a 1970s afro, that hadn’t been brushed in day. I am a harsh sleeper, so my naturally spiraled blonde curls go from sleek and shiny, to nappy, fuzzy blonde knots. Why, tell me why I couldn’t have straight, easily managed hair? I quickly slip out of my satin pink pajama shorts and begin to unbutton the matching shirt. When everything is off of my body, I turn the shower water on, and step in letting the warm droplets run down my caramel skin.

Quickly, suds up, and lather my hair, stressing and over thinking the whole time until next thing I know, I’m grasping for air, making my chest sink in deeper than normal. I broke down in uncontrollable sobs, slowly sliding down the wall tiles until I finally reach the shower floor, and curl into a ball. Why I’m crying, I have no clue. Maybe it’s all the emotions that I’ve kept hidden in the dark for so long, escaping or maybe I’m just overwhelmed with a mixture of joy, and stress. Either way, I knew eventually I would have to pick myself up off this floor, and out of this emotional state, I won’t keep him waiting, not after all this time. Holding on to both sides of the shower, I take a deep , quivering breath and I heave my trembling body up, turn of the water , then step out into a towel. Stay calm, Alyssa, don’t stress. He’ll accept you no matters how you look, remember back then, what he used to tell you? And I did, clear as day, like he was in my ear saying it. I remember his big hands pointing my little red camera at me and me screaming “, no, stop, baby please, I have no makeup on, I don’t want you to remember me looking like this,” and how he looked at me with this scrutinizing stare, making sure he saw every piece of my bare face and said,” I like you better like this, this is the real you, that’s who I love waking up to, the more beautiful than anything I could dream”.

My heart rate lowered, and my breath became normal again. I went through my closet, looking for anything comfortable and settled on the navy blue sweats with gray wolves printed all over them that he left me, a gray tank top, a black jacket and my grey uggs. Checking the clock for the last time, it read 2:45am.There was no time to mess my hair or my face, I would have to just leave the crazy, dripping curls wherever they landed, and it was time to go. I grabbed my keys and raced to the door. When I put my hand on the silver knob I thought, there’s no turning back now. Am I sure I can handle this? I paused for a second, took a deep breath and threw the door open. As I walked down the concrete stairs, and to my car, I knew I’d never felt more sure of anything in my life. I was ready.

The streets where long, dark, and had an eerie feeling to them. I drove in complete silence, not wanting a song to throw off my mood, and not a single car passed. I searched for the turn that opened into a gravel road, and led down to the glade, “Lovers glade,” as we liked to call it. While I was driving down the bumpy gravel road, my mind wondered back to the times before he moved away, when we would meet here once a week, and make smores, watch the sunrise and just be together. I was remembering my favorite memory of all; when he brought his radio and we danced under the stars until we fell asleep in each other’s arms- when I arrived at the glade. That’s when I saw him

There he was, his milk chocolaty silhouette half under the shadow of the moon, and the other half under the light of the stars. Our eyes meet and my feet take off like a jaguars during the hunt, but right now I’m just trying to erase the last bits of distance between us and as they disappear inch by inch, I feel and overwhelming sense of joy. I spring into his open, muscular arms, and rap my legs around his waist as he spins me around and around. I lower myself till we are perfectly eye level, touch my forehead to his and for a moment I just stare; taking in all the changes I’ve missed. His eyes, a little harsher, more mature, his nose and face are more sculpted, and he has a little facial hair growing back in. My eyes made their way down to his smile, still slightly out of place, and his lips are still, full, best of all, there are mine again. As if it was something I needed to survive, I press my lips against his and flames of passion ran down all through my body, connecting us and melting us into one, mind heart, body and soul. The Man on the moon starts to sing down on us, and our lips move in synchronized motions to the rhythm of his love song. Trees dance to it, swinging and swaying in the gust of wind that wraps us up in a tight cocoon of love, preserving us in that moment, and in that moment every atom in everything surrounding us oozes magic.

He cups my face in his large, slightly callused hands, wiping away the bittersweet tears flowing down my face.”Why are you crying love,” he asked, in that smooth, sweet voice that soothes my every nerve to sleep.”Because,” I said through a whimper, “I love you Eli, more than anything, and I’ve been waiting day after day for this night, but you’re going to have to leave again, and I don’t know if I can take another goodbye,” and snuggled my head into his chest. I felt his hand nudge me off and he said,” Look in the trunk. I put my face to the glass and saw suitcases. He’s staying here with me. I looked at him questionably and he said,” You’ll never have to say goodbye to me again.”As the night passes, I keep thinking why am I lucky enough to have a love like this? And I know that this isn’t a story I’ll share over milk and cookies with the kids someday, or over drinks and gossip with the girls. This moment is sacred, for just Eli and me to share. With the exception now, of you.