pure torture to loose in love ... she sounds like such a fine, exciting, fun woman ... i just tuned in to the perspective of the poem ... its in first person who is third person ... writing a poem that first person reads ... and the turn and closing is quite tricky ..and becomes first person telling third person ... a personal poem says i!? ;) clever writing my friend ... i like it!
E.
Posted 5 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
5 Years Ago
Ha.. I always aim for a draw.... it always seems so much fairer .. bless ya...
N :)).. read moreHa.. I always aim for a draw.... it always seems so much fairer .. bless ya...
N :)))
5 Years Ago
https://youtu.be/m35DdsuM5Oo
5 Years Ago
How cool is that... never heard before but sure to hear again... a bit like a cross between Jethro T.. read moreHow cool is that... never heard before but sure to hear again... a bit like a cross between Jethro Tull and Phil Collins/Genesis .. and yes, I am still listening......... cheers sir...... Neville
Me too ... Have you ever heard Wolf Alice.... my new fave band of the moment... check em on YouTube .. read moreMe too ... Have you ever heard Wolf Alice.... my new fave band of the moment... check em on YouTube :)
5 Years Ago
no i haven't ... going there now tho .. and then signing off ... so i bid you adieu ..top o' the mah.. read moreno i haven't ... going there now tho .. and then signing off ... so i bid you adieu ..top o' the mahrnin' to ya
lovely longing lament of loss with a sharp uppercut at the end... ouch my jaw is sore! Nev you have one hell of a punch good sir:) i'm gonna go get some frozen peas boom boom boom
This piece seems to me like my old parted friends long lived without seeing each other. Now a present friend of my old friend come to my Hamlet and I asked my old friend's friend wondering if my old friend is still that same man I knew in the past and I don't expect to hear him say yes because life changes, human become different, mind get adapted to new situation as so the world keep revolving.
Wonderfully written, Neville.
Posted 5 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
5 Years Ago
What is wonderful my friend, is the wonderful thought you put into your reviewing comment.. Bless yo.. read moreWhat is wonderful my friend, is the wonderful thought you put into your reviewing comment.. Bless you and true.... N
mmmmm...all those little things that are taken for granted until time has trickled by. At least you got to taste, sometimes that is better, sometimes it isn't. Great ending line. Loved it!
Posted 5 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
5 Years Ago
How bloomin kind sir, many big thank you's from here to you... Neville :)
The things that we wished people would notice about us. Or maybe even the ones that we ourselves don't realize. The detail that goes beyond te physical, the sexual, yet it finds a way to evoke sensuality. If she was once yours, she was a lucky. lovely poem.
Posted 5 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
5 Years Ago
thank you for your kind words my friend.. thank you very much indeed... Neville
i definitely have someone that i often wonder these things about..."she used to be mine"---
and all those things we might have found aggravating at one time...we long to have back...we miss those personality quirks....and remember them like it was yesterday...
delightful read...although painful for the speaker to recall when she is with someone else.
j.
There is much to be said about detail. The kind of detail expressed here in these old memories tell me this person was cherished and her every move studied with interest. I am left wondering what she would write about you? Fascinating look into the past. Leaves unanswered questions. Another great write Neville.
Now you're just showing off! Every woman longs for her man to PAY ATTENTION to the details that make up what she's all about. This shows off your unique ability to capture those quirks & weave them into a lovable tapestry that injects your reader with a similar longing (((PAYS))) Fondly, Margie
Posted 5 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
5 Years Ago
You are .. as always, far too kind Margie & I luv ya for it (LAYs) fondly, Neville
Asking all sorts of questions about someone known very well is bound to get a guy quiet suspicious methinks............. a dig in the ribs though if he thinks she has no past.............. ha
just words dear Fay that came to me out of a blue but graying day....... thank you tho and true....... read morejust words dear Fay that came to me out of a blue but graying day....... thank you tho and true.....
Neville
5 Years Ago
Yes I thought twas your muse and not for real - - -Oh meant to type quite in my first review and not.. read moreYes I thought twas your muse and not for real - - -Oh meant to type quite in my first review and not "quiet" - typos just haunt me in my reviewings.
Sorry Never, but you know how it is, we just seem to fall for the same women. She definitely sounds like someone I know.
Those snickersish ladies, all sweet and yummy on the outside, but ever so slightly nutty inside.
I'm just glad those sweet ladies don't talk about us behind our backs or we'd all be in trouble.
We're all slightly used and worn mate, but yet we try not to think of them having a past or future without us.
When someone else gets all defensive when they find out you used to be together, it's best not to mention it, but if you really want to annoy him, just smile knowingly at her, like you are reminiscing something filthy. You know, like the time she didn't rinse her plate or something 🤓
Posted 5 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
Nev.... Not never. Predunctive toast.
5 Years Ago
I know exactly where ya coming from mate .. I shall give that a try and I aint talkin rugby, Cheers .. read moreI know exactly where ya coming from mate .. I shall give that a try and I aint talkin rugby, Cheers n all that jazz.......... :)