Cold Under the Coat

just words he say's .... say's me..... maybe a work in progress but with special thanks to Jacob for suggesting the title and his wisdom... cheers j.

Cold Under The Coat

 

Oh my love

How I must have changed

Since we last failed

And so deliciously

 

You never faltered though

Or paused or turned

For one final

Backward glance did you

 

Nor did you drop one of your

Elegant gloves as we passed

In the second hand book store

I know because I checked

 

I checked the next day too

And despite it being summer

And with mercury still climbing

I recall a distinct chill

 

It was the moment the hem of your

Dress brushed past my knee

Yes it was then I promised myself

Another beard come winter

 

You may laugh but I have considered

Taking up walking with my mandolin 

Or a meerschaum pipe maybe

Perhaps you would notice me then

 

Although I trust my self less 

With you these days than I once did

With nicotine

Which took some quitting too

 

I kept the old green corduroy coat

By the way but only ever wear it now

In the garden and on special occasions

Because you once liked it

 

And because

It still smells of you

At least I think its you

It could be no one else for sure

 

Oh my love

How we have both changed

Since failing

And so completely

Author's Note

I was going to call this the Final Hurt but some geeza changed my mind...

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

actually I like the title you have...i like the whole idea of the coat...doesn't keep the speaker as warm now that she is gone.
the admittance that we failed...and he hopes she may just want to retake the course/ relationship and see if they could pass this time...
maybe "Cold under the Coat" for a title? i just like that coat idea mixed into this...Failing feels so cold.
j.

[Neville]

thank you so much jacob... I like your title too.. and so much so.. I am gonna nick it... cheers N :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

help yourself to it...
enjoyed the read.
j.

[Neville]

tis done ta...

[Fay Slimm]

The picture you scribe does not look like a failure on the part of the writer - but love gone cold needs sometimes that overcoat and you got it right Nev in composing pathos into your tender lines... hope this sad ode is from your incurable imagination however................ Fay

[Neville]

absolutely ....

[Einstein Noodle]

yep .. title adds dimension for sure ... love the whimsical sarcasm as he thinks perhaps carrying a mandolin around might help .. love that sir! just such a thought we idiots would conceive ... also like the beard play .. its being kept in the winter something they probably discussed .. i once had a love that did not like me 'stache ... which i had for a long time ... so ... in the end i shaved me face bald ... then she left :{ i guess me uncovered was just too much a shock eh!? :))))))))
well told story ... complex characters ..in few lines ... reading puts me melancholy ..poor ol' sap with his coat ... that perhaps has her scent ... if i run into him today .. i am going to take him to a bar and get drunk with him
E.
ps. "just words he says" ..is that a reference to our friend the Coyote Man?

[Neville]

sometimes I think I write just to hear from you my friend.. it would be good to get drunk together maybe, so having now ticked all the boxes, the first rounds on you sir.....thanks ever so much for your time and consideration of these words Gene.. it really does mean such an awful lot.... ps.. on this occasion not necessarily, maybe :)

[Einstein Noodle]

ah ... just wondering .. and on getting drunk .. i'll start here at 10 AM .. hows that work for you :))))))

[Neville]

I am about to partake any moment sir so is good for me :)))

[Einstein Noodle]

took a second shot of true Scottish Whiskey (cheap; but imported) .. raised it to you i did ... putting finishing touches on a wood art project of mine ... Slainte mhath! :)

[Neville]

sounds good my friend .. cheers and maybe a pic of the completed project ... mine last eve was a decent single malt.... N :)

[Einstein Noodle]

;) ...................

[Neville]

:)................. 2

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahahaha ..i love you man! over and out! : ]

[Einstein Noodle]

had to read again .. your poem and that "coat" is so memorable sir .. i feel the chill just seeing the title .. fine stuff

[Neville]

I am well and truly honoured Gene and made up by your generosity & support.... N :)))

[Neville]

and I you.... :)

[Chris Shaw]

Relationships can often blow hot and cold over time, but that doesn't mean they are a total failure. A failure means condemning the whole relationship, even the parts that were once good. It is obvious from the sentiment in these words that times were better and there is a desire for them to return that way. Continuing the theme of one of your posts yesterday. People change within re!ationships, nothing stays the same. An excellent read.

Chris

[Neville]

this is based on years of watching... it is not autobiographical just in case you, or anyone else might just be wondering.. I appreciate your summative sentence Chris and thank you for it... Neville

[Chris Shaw]

I have been reading your stuff for well over a year, so no need to mention the bit about your words not being autobiographical now. Most of your readers know what a huge imagination you have and long may it continue. :)

[Vin]

Those lines have life. May you write your heart out and convey emotions like this.

Vin ( https://vinajith.blogspot.com/ )

[Neville]

thank you so much for visiting these words.. and your encouragement is most encouraging.... Neville