Cold Under the Coat

just words he say's .... say's me..... maybe a work in progress but with special thanks to Jacob for suggesting the title and his wisdom... cheers j.

Cold Under The Coat

 

Oh my love

How I must have changed

Since we last failed

And so deliciously

 

You never faltered though

Or paused or turned

For one final

Backward glance did you

 

Nor did you drop one of your

Elegant gloves as we passed

In the second hand book store

I know because I checked

 

I checked the next day too

And despite it being summer

And with mercury still climbing

I recall a distinct chill

 

It was the moment the hem of your

Dress brushed past my knee

Yes it was then I promised myself

Another beard come winter

 

You may laugh but I have considered

Taking up walking with my mandolin 

Or a meerschaum pipe maybe

Perhaps you would notice me then

 

Although I trust my self less 

With you these days than I once did

With nicotine

Which took some quitting too

 

I kept the old green corduroy coat

By the way but only ever wear it now

In the garden and on special occasions

Because you once liked it

 

And because

It still smells of you

At least I think its you

It could be no one else for sure

 

Oh my love

How we have both changed

Since failing

And so completely

Author's Note

I was going to call this the Final Hurt but some geeza changed my mind...

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

actually I like the title you have...i like the whole idea of the coat...doesn't keep the speaker as warm now that she is gone.
the admittance that we failed...and he hopes she may just want to retake the course/ relationship and see if they could pass this time...
maybe "Cold under the Coat" for a title? i just like that coat idea mixed into this...Failing feels so cold.
j.

[Neville]

thank you so much jacob... I like your title too.. and so much so.. I am gonna nick it... cheers N :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

help yourself to it...
enjoyed the read.
j.

[Neville]

tis done ta...

[Fay Slimm]

The picture you scribe does not look like a failure on the part of the writer - but love gone cold needs sometimes that overcoat and you got it right Nev in composing pathos into your tender lines... hope this sad ode is from your incurable imagination however................ Fay

[Neville]

absolutely ....

[Anastasia]

He keeps checking for her and she still gives him a distinct chill. He still wants to attract her attention and still carries the old green corduroy coat which carries the scent of her. So it amazes me that its a completely failed love. It certainly doesn't fail in his memory. Perhaps special things don't always last but they still remain special to someone always. I understand this feeling. Thank you.

[Neville]

thank you my friend and truly ....

[Lydia Shutter]

WOW....the hem of a dress brushes by his knee and it all comes back to him. The way she loved you, the way you loved her back. Yet, it could never be, it could never work out. A true love story in just a few lines. Wonderful work, Neville. Lydi**

[Neville]

..... thank you so very much dear Lydi**

Neville :)

[Papaya]

Failure is a tough thing to accept, especially in relationships.
The coat, it represents those things that will forever be attached to memories of someone.
Be it a song, a place, a smell... those memories are there waiting to be triggered.

[Neville]

you seem to have got the handle on this one nicely my friend and for that, I am most grateful ... many thanks and as much appreciated as always Ana :)

[Papaya]

My pleasure :)

[Chris Shaw]

My oh my. Over a year since I last read this beautiful, image laden poem, written with such pathos. Cold Under The Coat is such a great title suggestion as well from Jacob. Your lines have such depth of feeling.Neville. Pleased it isn't autobiographical because that would be too sad wouldn't it? Relationships change, that doesn't mean they are a failure, it also doesn't mean the love dies. Maybe love is like a torch. Sometimes it floods the room with light, other times it maybe more subdued. What I do know is all relationships need work. Wonderful writing.

Chris

[Neville]

Way too kind but so very much appreciated, as always dear Chris :)

Neville

[Wild Rose]

She left with no backward glance
Nor did she 'accidentally' let her glove fall

Yet you keep a coat with the fading scent of her
Are you sure it isn't the scent from the flowers in your garden
Ah well1
The memories the old coat brings ------ Pricless

[Neville]

absolutely Wild Rose, some things are impossible to value for that simple reason... thank you and stay safe and well :)

[Pryde Foltz]

Ouch ... this one is highly relatable for me. I love the way you have imbued and object with story and mood and I LOVE how you have capture the feeling of still loving someone who has forgotten you. Brilliant.

[Neville]

Thanking you so much for checking in again my friend.. you are indeed most kind ... Neville

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Neville... your poetry is like a Novel with Chapters that
fold into each other... her hem brushing against your knee in a bookstore...
the green corduroy coat that you wear on only special occasions, because she liked it.
A Gem of a poem that is like a Rose pressed between pages. truly, Pat

[Patricia Wedel]

A Gem of a poem that is like a Rose pressed between pages.... scented by thyme. truly, Pat

[Neville]

I could very easily fall in love with thee dear friend... many thank you's for being so bloomin consistently encouraging ... Neville

[Patricia Wedel]

We have so little time to share our soul... like gathering flowers in a storm... being creative with words is a song that flies like a bird to other shores and opens doors where butterflies may linger for awhile and smile. thank you for the gift of flowers
where hummingbirds have dined. truly, Pat

[Neville]

I sincerely hope those hummingbirds never learn the words.. coz I love em just the way they are.... and you too of course.......... N :)

[Patricia Wedel]

Merci mon ami...

[Neville]

................. :)

[barleygirl]

Every time I finished reading a stanza, I thought: I'VE LIVED THIS! You paint so many recognizable scenarios people go thru . . . love the comparison of quitting a person to quitting cigs . . . you not only state this plainly, but you also SHOW it thru-out your poem. This is so tangled up in awesome imagery I don't know where to start so I'll shut up for now! *wink! wink!* Fondly, Margie

[Neville]

Well I must just say this.. I can not thank ya enough BG for the love and support you give me here at the Cafe.. I Just hope you realise how grateful I am..... Our friend Me... NUGs n stuff :)

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

You've actually describe it all well. I felt emotionally driven. It painful to have such an experience but at the same time increases our maturity and know-how of life and love.

Thanks for sharing this.

[Neville]

thank you for visiting my friend....