Broken

Broken

The night arrived on time

Dark and desperate

Descending sweet yet tainted

Like black treacle

Cracked as old stained glass

Upon an empty table

Pain weary and measured

In the weight of dried fruit and

Petals of flowers strewn

Reed like tall and proud

Tho yesterday we were bowed

Seriously bent bruised and bled

 

Twas then we ached aloud 

Broke eternal

Pon both linen sheet and cloud

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sounds like my first divorce...bent and broken...aching aloud...
this very dark and the imagery is pronounced...so good.
i am just wondering what would have happened if the night arrived late...would we have had more of a chance.
i like this one.
j.

[Neville]

Thank you jacob...very much appreciated... and who knows, maybe... N

[Carolynn]

I think your words describe so many possible instances where one feels broken and bruised but I particularly read it as though one lost the love of their life through death and is still mourning their loss - a very interesting write :)

[Neville]

thank you kindly Carolynn... both a welcome an much appreciated visit..

Neville

[Crowley]

This is heavy, and could be about so many things. Spoken grievances and maybe not agreement but at least understanding lets us put down our load for a minute to breathe. Nice piece of work Neville!!

[Neville]

Thanks Crowley.. if my memory serves correctly, it is about so many things.. but then … it is the weekend too so it can be about anything any one might want it to be...

Hope you are well sir,

Neville

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

The wright is what we make it ...pleasure or pain...broken allows us a new start a new way to put the broken pieces back together...beauty from each crack as the light shines through...🌹

[‘Thoughts In Time’🌹]

Weight....🌹

[Neville]

I got'cha.. just as ya were slipping through the floor up there.. I take it you were slipping and not shinning ya way down to be nearer me.... 🌹 N..

[‘Thoughts In Time’🌹]

Oh u do make me laugh...slip sliding away....yes to be closer to u ...🌹

[Neville]

If you are now down there and laughing.. I must be doing summat wrong... :)

[Rania M]

A night sweet yet tainted as black treacle is such a lovely imagery. Breaking and healing oft is the story of my life so I relate much with this poem. It’s a lovely read, Neville.

[Neville]

How bloomin kind of ya my friend.. I so hope you are now fully mended.. I shall keep my fingers crossed anyway..

[Rania M]

I’m resilient. That’s something I’m grateful for. :)

[Neville]

good to hear.. and my toes, okay... :)

[Rania M]

I’m glad too. :)

[Neville]

Have a great weekend.... Neville

[Rania M]

Thank u Neville! A lovely weekend to yous!

[Neville]

Cheers....

[Lorry]

Night, like pain is never late. It can arrive early and weigh us down with lead feet, and it can be bang when we expect it, closer and closer, claustrophobic as can be, reminding us that the day is gone, like all the rest before it.
Due to our lack of sunshine and real daylight up here, i may be reading too much of my own into it, that i miss those light filled days that are no more.
That always leaves me feeling like im wearing a kryptonite rucksack.

[Neville]

I know that feeling and since they reduced the frequency of my B12, everything seems to be an uphill struggle... I am beginning to feel increasingly broken... You are a credit to your species sir and thanks a million mate :)

Neville

[Lorry]

Broken only means we can rearrange the jigsaw we are left with, into something we like more, getting rid of those sharp edges and crumbling pieces. Just be careful that elbow skin piece isn't something else mate.

[Neville]

:Point taken... well actually chamfered away now.. ta, I almost forgot it was there.. like so many things these daze :)

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Neville... reminds me of an electrical fire that took away treasures such as
hand painted stained glass vases of delicate peacocks in speckled shades of turquoise
and feathered blessings, along with an antique water coloured Clipper Ship painted by my
classmates grandfather. Yes, we were broke Eternal, but in our minds eye we shall
forever enjoy their beauty. truly, Pat

[Neville]

thank you dear Pat, what a delightful response to these words of mine.. always appreciated, Neville

[Diabolicalbeard]

I been in that world of emotions that you speak of well done

[Neville]

not a nice place, is it .. thank you my friend for your encouraging comment.. much appreciated, Neville

[Robert Trakofler]

Ouch that was a dark and stark night indeed, nice imagery in those words that you did bleed! I can hear those aches vividly in this write Nev:( make sure to burn those sheets and send that night back into the clouds!!!!

[Neville]

All done and dusted my friend, a long long time ago... Only much more recently remembered and subsequently penned.. Bless ya little cotton socks and tail B b..... Neville

[sette]

broken i like the word not because of negativity but because of the optimism that perhaps one day the shattered pieces can be joined again and be built anew

[Neville]

Now there's a lovely thought for ya innit.... Thank you my friend, a most welcome visit and true... Neville

[Chris Shaw]

Relationships eh? That's what can happen. You convey the darkness well and I liked the reference to black treacle. Thick and sticky, wading through that would be difficult for anyone. Your final stanza oozes hurt. There are no winners here it appears. Dark and broody like the storm clouds hiding the peaks in the fells.

Chris

[Neville]

Dark & broody does it for me and fits the bill perfectly, thank you Chris

[Chris Shaw]

It's good to revisit some poetry. Great lines here Neville, but weighed down by the bricks of heaviness. You certainly put some feeling into this one. Great opening stanza, sets the mood. Good morning to you.

Chris