Before I Go Blind

5 7 5 form and true

Before I Go Blind

 

Seize for me the sun

For I shall yet have the moons

Most fairest daughter

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and I see the light, maybe just before i see nothing ever again.
but a good combo to see...quite the senryu here...
should "moons" be "moon's" possessive?
at any rate...and who is giving away those daughters, i might like to seize one of them, also.
j.

[Neville]

thank you my friend... I will go check....... N

[Lydia Shutter]

Such a lovely senryu. The Moon's fairest daughter ,eh? Well might as well shoot for the stars! :). Lydi***

[Neville]

It makes sense to aim high when vision aint what it used to be... thank you Lydi**.... Neville

[kentuck14]

Nev,
Sounds Like the Bard himself!

[Neville]

I'm smiling from me pierced ear to the very other one on the opposite corner of my face :)

[Papaya]

I get tripped up on senryu vs haiku but it makes no difference really. It's a delightful and clever poem.

[Neville]

It's the thank you's that matter...many thank you's Ana..... Neville

[Papaya]

you are welcome :)

[Neville]

thank you :)

[Lyn Anderson]

I see my friend Jacob already wondered about the moon's fairest daughters --- as I read it possessively as well -- I like this little word play.

[Neville]

Thank you ever so Lyn... I feel fitfully indulged this fine sunny mane............ Neville

[R.E. Ray]

Neville, I applaud you. Technically correct haiku with true substance, something rarely read. And, the perfect title.

[Neville]

thank you kindly sir.. I am more than made up with your encouraging comments.... cheers, Neville

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Passionate and beautiful declaration, Neville. Your pristine Senryu reaches out and grabs the reader’s attention and heart. We feel the need, the urgency in your dramatic words. Blinded by the light...of love- yes, and absolutely true!

[Neville]

I am truly honoured by your visit Annette and can't thank you enough for your lovely comments... bless you my friend, Neville

[AYVID N]

Oh how I love this Haiku! So poetic in its declaration. Awesome words N! Nice to see you after such time.

[Neville]

You are most kind, thank you DIVYA... Neville

[AYVID N]

You’re most welcome N. I’m so happy to see you 😀

[Neville]

then I am just gonna go thank you again :)

[Eilis]

Delectable enjambment there at moons. I can’t resist a good enjambment. I like the way the title prepares us for something desperate but then the poem lulls with the softness of all that power and beauty of nature. A mean haiku here.

[Neville]

I am truly honoured my friend, and then some....Neville

[barleygirl]

This is an interesting & thought-provoking little tidbit. What I get most is POWERFUL! It feels like a lion roaring his decree! Love it! I've missed ya! We've both been a little flaky at times (((NUGS))) Fondly Margie

[Neville]

Many thanks Margie, and much appreciated too.. NUG NUG... Neville