Together Parted

haiku format .. other than that, you decide..

Together Parted

 

Perfect pink petals parted

Strobe like light pulsing

Then together those waves hit

 

Reviews

[R.E. Ray]

Well, depending on the poet's intent or the reader's interpretation, it could be haiku or senryu (I think). I'm thinking something erotic. A "flower" blooming in the parking lot of night club, two lovers flooding each other with... "love." Damn, that reads bad. Or, maybe a funky greenhouse with strobe lights and sprinklers. You may call me an idiot without offending me, Neville. The imagery is certainly brilliant, and the structure.

[Neville]

Cheers my friend.. nah' reads good from here... Have a great Sunday and true.... N

[Ankita Dwivedi]

Hi there stranger ... how are you ? these poems hit a wave of imagination in my head too ! I might interpret wrong , but you got thinking about many kisses from my many lovers .. there's magic in 2 bodies being united , taking over the senses of another being like never before .. just being honest .. do i sound too bad ? keep safe and be amazing as always
merry Xmas

[Neville]

Hello Ankita I like honesty & thank you for yours .. No you dont sound bad at all ............ Bless you

Neville

[barleygirl]

Your title reminds me of the contrast of Christmas 2020 -- people longing for togetherness, but required to be parted. But then your poem begins & the warm fuzzies go out the window. How can anyone not read that first line as an entry/invitation into the sacred/divine or the intimate? From there on out, my imagination went orbital (((WOOSH))) fondly, Margie

[Neville]

..........................Orbital is good and I know ya got a good imagination Margie (WHISH) fervently, Neville

[Patricia Wedel]

dearest Neville... it is amazing how Roses develop in a Bud of tender petals that ultimately are separated by destiny. Some Petals become doctors or lawyers and others teachers and philosophers... many become artists or musicians... and then there are poets who may be all of the above. tenderly, Pat

[Neville]

how astute you are Pat the stutest of stutes in fact ... Seasons best to you n yours wrapped in a bow of velvet hugs ......... Neville

[Gee]

Ah, the holy grail of our teens, and perhaps for many also of years going on...
Good morning Neville, hope you are fit, happy and well

[Neville]

thanks for checking in Gee .. much and always appreciated ... we are fine, hope all good in good old MK.... Seasons best to all of ya .... Neville :)

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

I really like this poem and the imagery and title are perfect. It speaks volumes for such few words.

[Neville]

How very kind, thank you Cyprian.. many thanks indeed...

Neville

[Chris Shaw]

You know, this little bit of pink lippy delight doesn't leave much to the imagination. It didn't when I read it a year ago either :)

Chris

[Neville]

........... No point beating about the bush is there .. or is there

[Chris Shaw]

What is it about bushes? So many proverbs contain the word bush. Beating one sounds a bit violent :)

[Einstein Noodle]

ohhhhhhh you stealthy eroto-man! ;) your daring to part petals (oo-la-la) and part the traditional ways of a haiku, i would call it ... but hey ... so did the ancestors eh!? i think your poem hits the spot and has awakened the blood flow in me this morning :)) the consonance in the first line is "milk toast" .. a titillating pleasure to say it ... (i learned that in a poetry class one day,...milk toast)
E.

[Neville]

you are clearly a good student.. but an even better teacher ... so y' are..... :)

[Einstein Noodle]

why thank you sir! and right back at ya ... how are the eyeballs working?

[Neville]

Had a bit of a set back Gene.. my left eye aint right..

[Robert Trakofler]

Nev you are dirty in such a wonderful way no doubt many a petal has opened to those dexterous digits of desire over the years my good friend and me thinks many more would still! Merry Christmas my dear Neville:) Hoping those fresh eyes of yours see the sparkles of the season

[Neville]

please accept my very late apologies dear Robert .. I have been busy in ways I would not wish upon my worst enemy... if I had any that is...or maybe I do...

[emmajoy]

Oh my, straight to the point in three glorious lines! You'd not have to pass any exams to become a first-class landscape designer, Neville - and, what's more, undoubtedly, be in great demand!

[Neville]

Ha.. many thanks emmajoy, truly most kind of ya.. unfortunately tho those days when I was in such demand are long since gone.. Neville :)

[Fay Slimm]

Whoosh and Wow -- Twelve out of ten for this sensuous semi-haiku that reminds me of a midnight explosion on a long-ago beach in full moonlight - leave you to decipher my meaning - - what an evocative read .

[Neville]

awesome.... thank you Fay... :)