Guilt Trip

Guilt Trip

 

He watched her

From a safe distance

Frantically  

Rubbing salt into

Those

Pretty open wounds

Of hers

As she bled into the

Cream wool pile

Inherited long ago

That used to be  

Their magic carpet

Makeshift sleigh

A ride to paradise

No less than was

 

Yet on reflection

As he watched her

From that distance

She seemed to him

More desperate to

Remove those 

Ink and red wine

Stains  

They spilled while

Playing hide and seek

A long long time ago

More so even than

Absolving guilt

Or ridding herself

Of his precious DNA

 

 

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

A damaged lass, making more damage to what should have been a sacred place where they travelled to exotic places. The DNA, well I guess I wouldn't wish an unplanned pregnancy on anyone. The guilt, well that remains hidden. That is the possession of the author. Deep, Neville. Was that a shag pile carpet by any chance? There must be much guilt here. The title says so.

Chris

[Neville]

Yes, I do believe there was.. none of it mine tho.. it was more of a durrie if I remember correctly :) N

[Chris Shaw]

Shorter pile I think. I should have said "that remains In the possession of the author". It wasn't the intention to suggest the guilt belonged to you.

[Neville]

not to worry... :)

[emmajoy]

Have read and read this.. still feel a terrible aftermath of one of two possiblities. Tis relative perhaps where games are concerned but then.. games are for all ages, if they want to take advantage of playhour. Who knows, does it matter, you've stretched this reader's mind by using phrases that hint, nudge, state this way or that.. perhaps hiding what you feel you should, yet... perhaps, wanting to expose an unexpected piece of knowledge.. who knows. You cared, you still do, from the sidelines You've shown how subtle your writing can be, tis kind.

[Neville]

thank you emmajoy, a much appreciated visit, please accept my apologies tho for any associated consternation, I am often told that I would probably be very dangerous if I was any less subtle... Neville:)

[emmajoy]

Laughing - more than likely but fortunately .. ..

[Lydia Shutter]

After a break up each person has to find a way to purge the demons...it is not easy. Those watching want to help, but truly it is an inside job. We send ourselves on guilt trips far too often if you ask me. Your compassion shows in this one. Lydi*

[Neville]

if I was to tell ya how absolutely bloomin delightfully pleased I am that you popped in here today, that would be downplaying my thank you...

[angel]

That is so sad. It actually made me cry.
I hope that you are not the one carrying the burden of that dark and heavy guilt.
I cannot imagine you ever hurting anyone so; you do seem a kind soul.

[Neville]

thank you for the visitation angel, tis much and warmly appreciated... never fear.. this hard man is innocent.. at least of the guilt referred to up there... N

[lightsong]

this hurts, hurts a lot dear Neville, and when I read this,

"Rubbing salt into
Those
Pretty open wounds
Of hers"
it made me sore, really sore, Your words runs into many situations, I don't know if he still loves her or not, but I do believe it hurts him to watch her like that. some say to "let go" the one You love is one of the deepest kinds of love, but sometimes it's not the right solution and it's damaging more than anything else, I lived to believe that love can fix it all, if the two are determinate to do so, but I also learned that many people can't be like that nor they have the courage and strength to be so.

effectively and powerfully done.

[Mrudula Rani]

You are the silent observer of someone,
some one grew up before your eyes once a child, now a woman,
trying to correct things, those that need no correcting!
Very clever and precious words my friend, left me wondering once more.

[Neville]

Hey M a very good morning to you my friend.. an early one that is.. Many thanks for considering these particular words, your interpretation of them is fascinatingly insightful and I thank you for it.... All Good Things... Neville

[Mrudula Rani]

Inexperienced view of the world I can dish, my friend. Tudo de bom! ( all the best).

[Neville]

you have a very good eye for detail... cheers:)

[Mrudula Rani]

You are too kind. (Agora você sabe porque eu adoro você! )Abraço.

[Neville]

............... :) N x

[barleygirl]

WOW! This is a study in conveying an intricate story heavily veiled by subtlety, mostly described with imagery & symbology, yet even I could understand it clearly (I can be obtuse when it comes to some of your heavily nuanced writing!) I really love the imagery you use (((NUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Neville]

Then my needs are completely assuaged.. nug nug:)