When I Was Dead

a walk along the coast inspired these words & when they woke me up, they were writ...

When I Was Dead

 

When I was dead

I could still see

A herd of wild

White horses

 

Their foaming

Salty mouths

Their manes and tails

Were all about me

 

And only when

I struggled not

Against the waves

Exhausted

 

Did they concede

A hoard of them and

Collectively escort me

Face down unto the harbour

 

Author's Note

drowning in words, aint that what poets do...

Reviews

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

I often dream that I am a white horse coming down a mountainside. I have a companion silver stallion by my side and we are galloping (snorting and huffing) as we rapidly go through a canyon with a stream. Your words here give me the same sense of vision. The universe is calling my friend. This poem is a full gallop, and I am breathless. Exquisite!

[Neville]

My Father took me somewhere when I was a very young child to an underground stream, there was a white horse that seemed to guard the entrance and the stream seemed to be that of mercury/quicksilver.. I would love to find that place and go back there... thanks for visiting these words, I do appreciate it..

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

astounding! I hope you find it again, It sounds magical!

[Neville]

.................it was

[Cherrie Palmer]

A poet's words, sometimes they are a surprise even to the poet. Which creates an awesome discovery.
Even in death wild horses are magnificent.

[Neville]

Thank you so much for the kind and encouraging message Cherrie.. I truly appreciate your time and support... N

[Cherrie Palmer]

:) my pleasure

[Neville]

cheers ....... :) N

[Lydia Shutter]

The beach is always inspirational for a poet. So many of my words have been written while sitting in the sand. I could see the waves engulfing you and pulling you under....so many emotions....so many words....till it is an overload and we simply have to give in to it all. I like this one, Neville. Lydi**

[Neville]

It really is my day.. thank you so very, very much Lydi**.. your time and consideration of my words are ever welcome and always appreciated.... N

[Einstein Noodle]

dang :=O ...i don't like that ending sir ...but it sure is effective in its abruptness ... your sea waves .. salt and horses all had me lifting on the powerful white light foam ... ...i was headed for Heaven man! ;) nope...its face down in the harbor i go :( strong natural rhythm sir ... its a complex arrangement of "feet" that lend familiarity ..and then press on (I am taking a beginners class on poetry ... we are on rhythm at the moment) in these lines:
"Their manes and tails
Were all about me"
you have iambs and then begin the next line with trochee ... which, as i just learned studying EA Poe's "The Bells" ... causes an emjambment ... pretty cool eh!?
i should have known from the title I wasn't going to make it :))))))))) loved the read sir!
E.

[Neville]

Cor blimey mate, you's using words proper... and how I truly welcome visits thus, so much so, this bloke he can't explain and so I'll just say bless ya bro, until thee calls again... Cheers Gene, and true..

[Einstein Noodle]

Am bi na rathaidean ag èirigh leat
i am probably going to drive people nuts while i'm in this class ... i will be trying to remember things by repeating them when i see them ;))) another anti-Alzheimer's technique :)

[Neville]

Good on ya mate.. :)

[Einstein Noodle]

down yer neck buddy! :))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[Neville]

Just had some good news meself so will put one down me neck tonight, and one for you too.. :)))))..

[Einstein Noodle]

:) later dude! :)

[Neville]

that's for sure :)

[Chris Shaw]

Poets can drown in words, they can also drown in emotion, to the point they feel nothing. That's when they become dead inside. But even a poet dead inside, can still see what's going on around them, even if they can't feel it. Your imagery is powerful, those wild horses out at sea, rolling in, engulfing, dragging your thoughts, pulling you down, only to release you when they were ready. This is multi layered and there are other interpretations that can be put on your lines, and I'm sure your readers will tell you so. These lines left me feeling unsettled. It wasn't an easy read. It played on my emotions. Great poetry Neville.

Chris

[Neville]

Thank you dear Chris.. many thanks indeed.. I do like the comments you have left on this page and I can easily relate.. hope you recover soon.... N x

[Chris Shaw]

Did I ever tell you I am a strong swimmer. I can swim against the tides. Can you?

[Neville]

No....... x