Before I Go

what started out as a haiku ended up as four identically worded but differently arranged sets of words on the same otherwise empty page.. we call this a quadhaiknev and if ya believe that.....

Before I go

I want you

 

So please

Promise me

 

The next time

I can have you

 

 

Before I go I want you

So please promise me

The next time I can have you

 

 

Before

I

Go

I

Want

You

So

Please

Promise

Me

The

Next

Time

I

Can

Have

You

 

Before I go, I want you, so please, promise me, the next time, I can have you

Author's Note

ya could call it experimental, I call it messing with words... aint it wot we do...

Reviews

[angel]

Oh, yes...I understand. I do it all the time. And, of course you can!

[Neville]

You are an angel angel.... N

[angel]

So I've been told. Of course, I've often been told the opposite, as well...

[Neville]

I bet...... x

[angel]

You'd win that bet. Goodnight, Neville. It's late over there;I make it about 15 minutes till one AM. Have a groovy dream.

[Neville]

twas indeed groovy.. cheers angel, dont'cha just luv groovy.. sleep tight x

[Agogobran]

Very good! I enjoyed it! I like the difference. Not your typical poem.

[Neville]

thank you, what a nice thing to say....many thanks, Neville

[Coyote Poetry]

A poem of wish and yearning. Nice flow of thoughts made the reader believe. Thank you Neville for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Neville]

sometimes, these things just have to be said, get it off ya chest me Dad used to say when I was a lad.... Cheers my good friend.... N

[Lorry]

Okay, i'll admit i'm slightly jealous I didnt write this and it totally puts my "awright doll, want pumped" line to shame. (we just have such a to the point way about us.
I would take her hand, look her straight in the eye and say your words to her, kiss her and walk away. Im sure she would say yes before the door closed.
Would that be plagiarism, using someone elses line? Ach, worth it. See you at court :)ome

[Neville]

Never fails... Go for it, but ya owe me big time... cheers.. N

[Lorry]

Ps, have no idea why I typed ome at the end. Haunted keyboard perhaps. :)

[Neville]

I'm on my way ome, thought you were gonna meet me there..

[Lorry]

Maybe I copied it from another post or text. I'll find out when I get a wtf reply from someone :)

[Neville]

.............wtf....:)

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahahahaha i absolutely love this ..such a joy in the expression ...i see the poet pleading sir! well done ..great stuff .. please experiment away!
ohhhhhhhhh how i wish i found the courage, honesty and strength to say just that same thing ...in all those ways ... ahhh but i use to be young and insecure ;{
E.

[Neville]

I can see I'm gonna have to send ya my box o tricks.... in the meantime tho, thank you so very much for visiting and indulging my ego... Peace, Love & All Good Things Gene, my very good friend... N

[Patricia Wedel]

Before I arrive
at half past nine
Please brew a cup
of orange pekoe tea
for you and me ...

[Neville]

consider it done.... bless ya Pat and true.... x

[kianatahleigh]

I really liked the way the words were messed with. I enjoyed reading it and was pulled in by the emotion being conveyed through the placement of the words.

[Neville]

You are indeed, most kind, and for that, I thank you kianatahleigh....All Good Things, Neville

[Verse]

Ooh, what a treat!!! Shape poetry for raw desire. You jest, Neville, but I hear the guitar licks of the jazz and blues singers of the 1950s in these words, all the please baby please of it all. Gradations of emotion that rise or descend in intensity.

And what did you say the name was? A venkaihdauq??? :):) Very, very cute, and wickedly original.

V

[Neville]

do you think these are gonna catch on, let me know by return coz I may need to arrange a patent... bless ya V you just made me feel very special.... N

[Verse]

Yesh, that was my plan! :):)

I'd hold off on that patent. Call it a hunch...

V

[Neville]

she led, he folla'd....

[θεά]

Your repetition of words have an echoing, reverberative effect. The urgency is pronounced and the conveyor of such emotion has held onto this thread well enough.
Good to see you writing.

Best,
M.

[Neville]

Thanks, it's good to know I'm being watched... N

[θεά ]

Blame it on the newsfeed! ;)

[Neville]

blame, blame go away
come again another day... that's what we seem to have these days, a blame culture... the newsfeed is innocent I tell ya..

[Chris Shaw]

Now there's a bit of directness for you if ever I've seen it. Direct but polite with it. No airy fairy messing about plain and to the point. And all those different positions. You crack me up with your humour sometimes.Your additional words under your title, really made me laugh. Are you on a fishing mission ?

[Neville]

Me Da always said.. 'get straight to the point son, an no messin'... trouble is, you wont believe how many different ways I've put me back out since then.. Nah, Iv'e not caught a thing for years apart for a heavy cold..... Remember, I owe ya Chris... N