Laid Bare & Waiting

I am afraid it is rather long, but bare with me .. 🤍

Laid Bare & Waiting

 

For the fourth time in six months

He woke up completely blind

In his left eye

The right was fine but his left eye

Was not right

He chuckled and thought he might just

Write that one down

If he could find a pen of course

 

He also noticed a general weakness

and other issues bothered him much

more than his laid back usual self

He also felt uncomfortable practicing

his daily za zen rituals

Neck back knees and wrists

all craved a massage

Not only that but he bumped into things

More often

 

Later when he handed the list

of his symptoms over

The consultant sat back in the chair

opposite and lit a cigarette

You need a lumbar puncture friend

It could be serious

And what about your erections

How good are they he asked

Hey is that really necessary after all

We have only just met and I’m married Sir

 

How much time do we have

How much time have I got

And just how serious can it possibly get

More serious than breast cancer

More serious than all those brain tumours

over there

More serious than Brexit and Syria

Global warming starving children and

the imminent threat of a Sarin nerve gas attack

Come now don’t be silly

It is hard to tell and tricky questions

are not my forte he replied

But you are my consultant and

I need answers

 

Let’s get a diagnosis first

Then he said maybe smoke a little hashish

It might make you feel better

in the short term

Then go listen to the Small Faces

and check out Ronnie Lane

That’s precisely what I would do

if I was in your shoes……

 

What about poetry he asked

Forget poetry the consultant replied

What about the wife the kids the dog

and the f*****g lawns for heaven sake

Now now Mr P there is no need for

that language here and certainly not today

It’s my birthday and I have MRI and

CT scan results to check

Yours too, if you care to wait

How much time have I got left Doc

Just give it to me straight…..

Reviews

[AYVID N]

Its a serious spot he's in. That's for sure. It could be days, weeks or months and we can never be sure. There is home and family to think of, in addition to his own life, perhaps dreams and plans. And there he is, an unfortunate man sitting across a cigarette smoking clown advising him to smoke hashish (of all things) to help him feel better. I had to laugh out loud, dear Neville. I couldn't help it. And yet, if we look at it long enough, we do recognize this sort of decay in the medical world in almost any place that we may live.

I also liked how you indicated how trivial and routine, our greatest troubles may feel to a casual onlooker. The doctor in this story felt like little more than that, which is sad.

I think your treatment of a serious subject like a probable fatal condition was humorous and
entertaining. That made this poem outstanding for me. I sensed his desperation only in the concluding lines. And I realized how powerful the write is.

[Neville]

Good Morning DIVYA & thank you so much for your in depth analysis and apparent approval of the precise moment I realised that whatever happens, in my life at least, I shall always try to put pen to paper and document it as best I can .. This is now an old one .. a bit like myself really and I think it fair and honest to say that we both approve of your encouraging and insightful visit .. Please excuse the long delay in my responding but have been otherwise engaged trying to relax in the Caribbean but being pestered by the beast known as Beryl .. All Good Things, Neville

[Patricia Wedel]

dearest Neville... are you flying and trying to find a Way to the Milky Way... where we all dream about tomorrow... high in the Mountains of Blue Skies where Angels sleep and Mothers weep... we will meet as Time goes by. softly, Pat

[Neville]

No, but wouldn't that be a fine thing Pat and thank you for giving me something to think about as I go about my way as gently as can be .. Neville

p.s ..
is that a red siskin depicted in your avatar by any chance :)

[Thomas W Case]

Tremendous work. The journey you take us on is riveting and sublime.

[Neville]

I felt both awkward and uncomfortable posting .. strangely even more so than the real thing .. cheers T .. N

[Lydia Shutter]

Not sure if this is about you, but if it is, I am sorry you are going through this. I have been to far too many doctors and waited for too many hours and even days for diagnosis. Yes, there are people more seriously ill, but your illness is the most serious to you. Written with brutal honesty, Neville. Lydi**

[Neville]

Yes Lydi** tis a bit of a tongue in cheek rant.. written in a moment of mixed anger and self pity which I am not proud of and do hope you will forgive me........ N

[Lydia Shutter]

Nothing to forgive, Neville. So sorry you are suffering through these medical issues.

[Neville]

ah' tis nothing.....will get sorted and I can still hold a pen x

[Lydia Shutter]

A positive attitude goes a long way....and I know you know that.

[Neville]

.................:) x

[Lyn Anderson]

Diagnoses. Docs are so good at keeping it clinical. The mind races to all the possibilities, none of them good. But what we really want to know they can't tell us. That's the crux of it and then,
Because I am me and you will know I think you meant lumbar -- likely an autocorrection -- eventually the knowing is better than the not

[Neville]

Correct on all counts Lyn... am usually not bad at spelling, I do not know what has become of me lately.... I do appreciate you visiting tho....... Neville

[Lyn Anderson]

You are excellent at spelling. And in my interactions with you have always preferred people get to the point, and hence ...

[Neville]

Hence it is then & thank you again... N

[Chris Shaw]

Humour intermingled with serious s**t (using your words Neville). This is a scenario that many have to face. That consultant has quite good taste in music, Small Faces were all the rage when I was about 16. I find it amusing that he is smoking! Bottom line is, if anyone is in that situation, wants to know how serious it is, and how much time they've got if it is serious. And when faced with news of that magnitude, half of what he was saying would probably disappear in the ether. Your poem comes across as playful when in fact there are so many questions and answers and time suddenly becomes of the essence. And anger? Yep I think there would be a place for anger as well. I missed this one, first time round, but then I was a very new newbie. I love the approach you have taken with this piece, it comes across as entertaining even though the matter is serious.

Chris

[Neville]

Cheers Chris... much appreciated.. yes the Small Faces were bril... I know many consultants that still smoke, several are my friends... do go check out one of my heroes mentioned above... N

[Chris Shaw]

Ronnie Lane? Is he one of your heroes Neville?

[Neville]

he was, yes.....

[Chris Shaw]

I know he died sometime ago, Neville and why. I do know a bit about him, but I'll check him out later, after football. Gotta prepare dinner, over and out.

[Neville]

Indeed.......me too. N

[barleygirl]

Once again you’ve hit the big time with a long & well-detailed vignette, laying it bare, & I enjoy this so much more than your often tiny glimpses & guesses. I’m sure there are a number of us on this website who can strongly relate to some part of this, if not all of it. I love your playful tone & straightforward approach. All the things I crave to read about, to satisfy my curious nature. This is by far the best piece of yours I’ve read so far (((SNUGS & JUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Neville]

Well you could knock me down with a feather....thank you Margie ever so much... nug, nug, wink wink.... Neville

[Sami Khalil]

I was laughing and then fell back to seriousness over the reality of health, marriage, wars, aging and so forth we all go through. The title says it all. Laying things bare scare many folks, give us anxiety and dreaded anticipation. Humans want answers and quick ones for that matter. They can't wait or be patient. I love how you weave humor and seriousness together. A master indeed.

[Neville]

Allow me a few moments atop this pedestal Sami, then I will willingly climb down... You are far too generous by half my man.... Bless you... Neville

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome. Come down, please...lol
AGT.................

[Neville]

Down & out.... N

[Sami Khalil]

Ten four on all four. AGT..............

[Neville]

gotcha rubba duck......4 T's & hold the sugar...

[Sami Khalil]

Hahaha....