Some of the Things She Said Before Leaving

Some of the Things She Said Before Leaving

I need a cigarette to burn my lip again

 She said

That way I shall always remember pain

She said

…

Heaven always seems more remote this time of day

She said

…

On reflection though I don’t suppose I’ll get there anyway

She said

…

Hey buddy why don’t you leave my mind alone

She said

I just need a cigarette to burn my lip again

She said

 

 

 

Reviews

[Riddhi]

I loved this..This is really different from the usual stuff that I get to read here..The way you expressed yourself in this piece is worth appreciating..
Keep writing..

[Neville]

Oh' mark my words, I shall indeed and many thanks for reading my stuff Riddhi.... All Good Things, Neville

[barleygirl]

This is a back-and-forth unlike any I've ever heard . . . which is the secret of your imagination . . . expressing things in unusual ways, but which still convey that "ah ha!" moment of recognition! *smile* Fondly, Margie

[Neville]

Thank you Margie nug ya.. I do ya know.... Neville

[Crowley]

I love this Neville...Its like "isms" I am and I think you may be the same way. Repeated lines for effect, messing with peoples minds just a little, making them go "excuse me?" Really like the style, this was really cool.

[Neville]

Cool will do very nicely, thank you Crowley...much appreciated..... Neville

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

This is some pretty noir material here Neville. Some relationships have to burn themselves out, as your protagonist desires. Some have to leave scars and barricaded doors so we know not to try them again- try the same thing, the same way and expect different? I think not. Great style of unpunctuated monologue, muding, followed by repetition of unpunctuated “She said”- makes it seem raw and real-time. “ Heaven always seems more remote this time of the day”- yes, as remote as love burning out.

[Neville]

My oh' my.. how can a mere mortal ever thank you enough for such fine, refined, insightful and encouraging thoughts and words... Bless ya Annette.........Stay Well...... Neville

[Onlyme]

Self-harm is heartbreaking even someone feels that is the only way they can express themselves and get the pain they carry deep inside out. As all the feel is numb. And seeing the pain. Does not actually make them feel it more so. But makes them feel alive in a way still.

[Neville]

Tis strange what some folk need in order to remind them of this or that, and yes, some folk do indeed need to experience pain in order to feel alive and real... thank you Dee... Neville

[Onlyme]

I guess Neville it's because they are so used to suffering and feeling pain. To feel numb or nothing is strange. So they feel dead instead of alive. So pain makes them feel alive if you understand my meaning.

[Neville]

I am quite sure I get your drift Dee...cheers

[Onlyme]

your welcome :)

[Chris Shaw]

I am left thinking, now why would she do that? Does she feel nothing at all, and the cigarette burn will be the only thing she ever remembers about this relationship? Methinks maybe the author had a lucky escape. Self harm has got to be the ultimate self loathing. Another of your poems which get the grey matter ticking over. Good evening Neville.

Chris

[Neville]

Good Evening, who knows and thank you Chris...N

[Lyn Anderson]

Self harm caused by leaving. She should have known better

[Neville]

Story of my life........... thanks for the visit & the salt... now if ya wouldn't mind just waiting while I rub it in............. N

[Lyn Anderson]

Aww I was trying to say it was her who was missing out. sheesh.:)

[Neville]

Salt is my only vice my friend.. I add it to everything, even reviews that make me smile... & kebabs.. sheesh kebabs that is...

[Girl on Mars]

Pretty damn honored you liked my writing when you write things like this. Beautiful and inspiring.

[Neville]

Hey, G on M my new literary friend, you are far too kind but nevertheless, much appreciated. All Good Things, N

[Gee]

She also said "and you can take that Fu#!+ng pig with you he stinks", to which the pig replied,"I'M TAKING HIM" Morning,nice write Neville

[Neville]

Thank's for checking this out

[Gee]

You're welcome

[Lydia Shutter]

A poem that has layers of meaning. Do you wish her pain because she is leaving? Hmmmm.....does she genuinely feel bad about leaving? Not sure, but I am sure you have written a cleverly worded poem. Lydi**

[Neville]

Mighty pleased you stopped by my dear friend and thank you so very much for your words...N