What Do I Want From You

 

What do I want from you

Now you are gone away

 

I want to chase that mint

Around your mouth

With my tongue again

 

I want to trace my name

On your shoulder blade

With my thumb again

 

I want to probe and peek

Play hide and seek and to

Locate that long lost crumb again

 

These are but a few of the things

I want from you

Now you are gone away

 

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'What Do I Want From You'
Neville,
I think you had fun with this one. It shows the memory and it's life. The things, experiences that stick out in our souls when that time is gone. Relationships can be complicated of course but this writing gives permission to simply enjoy the little things which are not so small after all.
Blessings as always!
Kathy

[Neville]

Please excuse my late response to your very kind review note Kathy .. Much appreciated as always .. Blessings reciprocated and seasonal best wishes from me to you & yours .... N

[Chris Shaw]

Your directness comes straight through here. No beating about the bush, you know what you want. Very sensual writing Neville, I only hope you got all of what you wanted before she left. That second stanza, chasing the mint with your tongue has given me the shivers or maybe it's a tongue tingle. What this tells me is how very much she was missed. It's always the little things which seem insgnificant at first that turn out to be the bits you long for most. Well writ Mr P.

Chris

[Neville]

Mr. P is well chuffed with your very kind impression Chris.. I like tingling best.. cheers, Mr. P

[Ardra]

Ah reading this again has put a smile on my face.... :))

[Neville]

Ha.. I thought I was seeing double for a micro second.. bless ya Ardra... I got one on my face now too :)

[Coyote Poetry]

We always miss what we can't have. I liked the need and the thoughts in the poetry. Thank you Neville for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Neville]

Bless you my dear friend, much appreciated I can assure you.....N

[Coyote Poetry]

Always my pleasure to read your work.

[Neville]

Same back at'cha..

[Govind singh]

I want to probe and peek,play hide and seek....wow!!! "Magnificent"

[Neville]

Thank you sir, much appreciated.................Neville

[Ayvid N]

The flesh and the spirit are deeply entwined. The physical presence of a lover is as keenly felt as the absence is. Its the simple actions of lovers that are missed the most. This is an adorable poem. The repetition of the first and last line enhances the effect...

[Neville]

Hey you are far too kind, now I gotta somehow manage to climb down from this darn pedestal......Cheers......N

[Ayvid N]

I'm sure you'll climb down when you get tired :))

[Neville]

Down already, ta .......

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

I hear this amazing poem as beautiful, plaintive verses of a love song...So poignant, tender, sensuous, rhythmic....excellent repetition of first and last line filled with yearning for a lover gone...”chase that mint around your mouth”- intimate, evocative. This poem draws you in and holds you close to its heart. Thanks for the very personal moment shared Neville....

[Neville]

You are far too generous with your kind thoughts and words, far too generous by half, but I like it.......Neville

[SleeplessVolcano]

Very vivid poem! I would suggest some minor editing though.....

"What do I want from you" is a question, so it should get an question mark, or, the "do" can be taken out to give "What I want from you.

Then, the second and last line, misses "that", - "Now that you've gone away", or "Now that you're gone".

Great poetry.

[Neville]

Hey Sleepless Volcano, many thank you's for the visit and accompanying edit suggestions. Take it from me, they are appreciated & you may well be grammatically correct, however, I think I shall leave it as it is for now. Poetic license & all that jazz............All Good Things & sincerely hope you stop by again.......Neville

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

Good memories are all we have to hold onto so we need to make as many as we can- such beauty and tenderness in your wants now the person is gone- I hope someone thinks of me like that- wonderful words🌹

[Neville]

Thank you so very much Thoughts in Time, much appreciated.....Neville

[‘Thoughts In Time’🌹]

MY pleasure🌹

[alanwgraham]

Well done neville - you have given us a great understated and very intimate account of how we might remember a separated other half. It's these little details we focus on. I think many will identify with this poem.

Alan

[Neville]

Well that is extremely kind of you to say so & very much appreciated Alan, many thanks indeed......Neville

[Lydia Shutter]

When someone is gone, we miss everything about them and everything we did with them. I especially liked the lines, "I want to chase that mint Around your mouth With my tongue again!" Remember, he who stays misses more than he who goes. I read that on a fortune cookie fortune once and it stuck with me. Well written. Lydi**

[Neville]

Cor blimey missus, much appreciated & now I'm lost for words..........................Neville