This is all it'll ever be

Something I had to write off my mind

You're there when I'm down
Make me win my daily fight
Help me through everything
But won't spend the night

I feel more than I should
It's slipping through my fingers
I know it's wrong
But the thought still lingers

I've known it all along
But it's so hard for me to see
That this is what it is
And all it'll ever be

Author's Note

Something I had in my head for a while. Not one of my best, but I just had to get it out.

Reviews

[Kristen]

I know from personal experience that no matter how much you think a piece isn't good, it's still important that you get your thoughts out onto paper (or computer screen). I really liked the last two lines of this as well. Nice work!

[Coyote Poetry]

Poem is very good. Sometime we can change a friendship with the desire of wanting more. I like the feel and the desire in your words. A excellent poem. A perfect ending.
Coyote

[Griffin Hill]

I like the rhyme and rhythm of the poem. Nice description and word balance
Feels like unrequited love to me. Is that what you were going for?
But the mood seems accepting, even comforting. Seeing things as they are or must be. Overall the poem seems hopeful, strong.

Grif

[Crowley]

Why can't we be friends.....yeah, I feel you. I really think this was really good, short and to the point and a point we can identify with. Alot of times the ones we don't think are the best are the ones people take to, don't know why that is. the ones we are most proud of get dumped on. I think yo did a great job....I like.

[A.M. Everlasting]

It may be one of your best by your standards, but I really like this. It's like the person only gives so much, and that's the best you'll get out of them, even though you want so much more. I can actually relate well. I think you put out the feelings you meant to convey in very short stanzas, and I especially like the second stanza, and the ending line. Thanks for sharing!

[Sam Severn]

Touching n' heartbreaking n' healing (I hope) n' stunningly simple, yet it f****n' sez it all. Brutally hopeful n' brutally honest, and that's what I love best about it! ㋡

[Anthony Marshall]

This piece is pretty incredible, although it was rather short it felt like I read a paragraph. It was pretty deep and understanding, keep up the word. I want to comment the first stanza, it makes a person wonder about the situation she may have been...

[Gomer LePoet]

It's really ok actually. sounds like you are wanting more than wut is being offered. this might be a good thing. Or sometimes you just got to go for it and take it. your choice.

[Dutch Jr.]

Hmmm... I actually like this piece, and I do agree it is not your best. But reading it, I sort of get the impression that the subject is being in love with a married man...lol. Like when you say, "Help me through everything But won't spend the night," it points out that you obviously love him, but when you say "won't spend the night" it points out that he has some other obligation. And going on about how you feel, although it feels wrong. This is actually a great write, but I think you can be a bit more vivid with your feelings, so that the reader can feel the same passion. You don't have to point out exactly what the poem is about, because I actually like the vagueness and the fact you made me think, but some emotion would spice this up some.

[StevenMannette]

It's an interesting poem, to me it sounds like your trying to grasp with your fingers at a dream you once had but faded.I'm not sure how to explain it I just felt like saying something I like it keep it up.