More perfect lies

More perfect lies

A Poem by NeverSurrender
"

Nothing to do with the title

"
You truly care for me
Whipe tears from my eye
Yet how do I repay you
By failing everytime I try

You are an angel
Here protecting me
But I am in the dark
Where you can't see

You are a guide
I need to thank you
But I want to say sorry
For what I've put you through

I am not worth your kindness
Your arm around me when I cry
Yet how do I repay you
By failing everytime I try

© 2010 NeverSurrender


Author's Note

NeverSurrender
Comment please. I wrote this after I had a bit of a rough day..

My Review

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Featured Review

What I like most about this poem is the natural flow and imagery you put into it. Very well done. I think you beat yourself up for no reason. The rhyme in the stanza's was good and the repetition also--equally balanced. Again, always try to proof read your writing in order to make it the best you can; you know little things like mispelling the word "truly" in the first line. Look into those things. The first and last stanza's were beautifully done. The second and third were a bit choppy and interrupted the nice effect you had going. Again, thanks for sharing. Keep writing. Gionelly*KiSS

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

aww *hugs* nice poem.

Posted 14 Years Ago


I like how you show the feelings of the writer to the reader. This poem was beautifully depressing. Great job!

Posted 14 Years Ago


... beautiful, even though it is a bit depressing. It's depressing in a good way! (It has a few spelling mistakes, but eh, who cares.)

I like the repeated 'Yet how do I repay you / By failing every time I try', it's very telling!

Posted 14 Years Ago


Poem is very good. Hard to put into words when we feel are not content. Life is give and take. In the poem you are thankful. That showed a good heart. In love repayment is not necessary. Sometime just to hold the one you love is a gift. A excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 14 Years Ago



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Added on April 15, 2010
Last Updated on April 29, 2010


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