Take me instead

A poem about loving someone so badly that you'd take their pain and suffering in their place.

I beg of you

Take me instead

I know you're thinking

I must be mad

Take my body,

Take my soul,

Submissive, I will be

Anything and everything

If you let him free

No matter what you're planning

To use, to hurt, to die

But take me in his place

For he's worth more than I

Author's Note

Yeah... Review please ^^

Reviews

[phonetixs]

this really depicts a state of selflessness. a love , a devotion. really a serious tone on every stanza makes the reader open their eyes thats for sure. the pain you would unload off f your love's plate and put it on your cross to carry.

No matter what you're planning
To use, to hurt, to die
But take me in his place
For he's worth more than I
^the closer for me was the best part.

this was short, but very very poignant. excellent write.

thanks for sharing.

[Sexy P3nguin]

a touching write. it has nice flow and description. a poem we can all relate to in some way. great write :)

[St.Jimmy]

I think this poem is good
it conveys that a person can love the another to so much limits that she wants to take away all the agony,sins,darkness,tears and everything that hurts or can cause something evil in his life
The last line
"For he's worth more than I"
it was a really good write and clever too as it perfectly matches with the flow
But i didn't like the flow in second stanza
In my opinion you should try to make it flow better!
Nice write!
~Aaradhya

[HorrorMaster]

Very beautiful, amazing poem.

[Soul Magic✯]

awesome expression. i dig the love in this piece to see that person get well. i would feel the same to someone i love too. great ink

[Vincent Esprit FMI]

Never Surender I'm troubled by this one (smile)...the second verse really had me wondering.......but this is the work of poetry to evoke emotions in the reader. You are doing that with this piece....well done!