Lost

A poem I thought of when I thought back on something that happened today.

Wrapped in blankets of despair
An endless tunnel, on my own
I've searched for you
But came back alone

Hours I've spent

And I'm still incomplete

Friends forgotten

I wander down the street

Hurt and defeated

I fall through the ground

Gone, away, lost

Never to be found

Author's Note

Please review

Reviews

[stranger-n-life]

The 'journey' of the imagined self through life , looking for what it is in relation to other selves , seeking 'union' to become one , to be whole, to be complete ['again' , as-it-were] ... yay! - beautiful natural imagery here in a concise complete naturl package with compulsive flow ...nice :)

( the problem of course, what is 'beyond' the beginning and the end , what the cause, what meaning even time when existence knows not these limits ... so the self searches, and in truth can find that losing itself is more than destiny , that existence is whole, being i not divided into selves :) ... thought-provoking stuff )

[Lena]

This I like.

[St.Jimmy]

i loved this
this is fabulous
i love the rhyme scheme used in all 3 paras
its very bad feeling when you are lost in the search of the person you love
Great thought!
~Aaradhya

[Alessander]

the ryhmes are solid, and you give the reader palpable imagry and setting. Wandering the street is a classic genre for disgruntled poets (Blake's "I wondered through each charted street" and Frost's "I am one acquainted with the night" come to mind). However, my one major critique here is the last line. "Gone, away, lost" already implies "never to be found" so it seems the last line is redundant and only stuck in for the sake of rhyme, so maybe end it with some sort of image? dunno...of course, you could just leave it in so the 'lost' theme can be emphasized.

[larryb]

Very well done ...I thought it interesting with perfect flow.

[Orlando Murcia]

Emotions and destroyed yearning was
written all over this

Very Nice Work

[Vincent Esprit FMI]

Wow the imagery of defeat is strong "neverSurrender" you have captured that defeat conception well...

[Coyote Poetry]

Poem is amazing. In so few words you told a complete story. I like the description and the ending to the poem was perfect. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Alex Zynder]

very strong image in my mind, great metaphor

[Gionelly Kiss]

Wonderful poem! Your style and imagery are very captivating. I love how you introduce us in the first stanza with beautiful imagery like "wrapped in blankets of despair" and in the second stanza start to pull us deeper into how you feel as you shorten the lines and vary the rhythm. The last stanza completes the effect of hoplessness and loss particularly with "gone, away, lost," the vague repetition of words. Great job! Enjoyed it a lot!
Gionelly*Kiss