No More Me

Who says im laughing

I'm dieing inside

Sorrow eating me alive

Who's laughing now?

 

Since when have i smiled

I've hidden from everyone

 You

So when did i smile?

 

Who says i dream?

Why would i tell you

you've destroyed me

so why would i dream

 

You tell me I'm beautiful

infront of others

then alone

you tell me diffrent

 

Tell me one thing

Why should i stay?

No answer?

Then no more me

 

</3

 

 

Author's Note

ignore errors

Reviews

[Looouise]

Capitalize the i's, because that's how they're meant to be.


Who says im laughing - I think there should be a question mark after 'laughing.'

Since when have i smiled - also a question mark after 'smiled.'

I think the concept behind the poem is pretty good. I like how there are assumptions made by other people/ the subject of the poem - and the narrator retorts back to those, asking how that's possible, because it's never done in front of said person.

The fourth stanza begins to get more personal, and it seems that it's within this stanza that the true colours of the subject come out.

It's a good write. :]