Sorry I Tried

Sorry I Was there for You

When you were down.

Sorry i tried to be your Friend

Sorry i tried to keep you Alive

When all you wanted to do was Die

I wish you were still with me

 

You sat under the tree

Later i found you were thinking of me

Why you never told me the truth

One piece of information

I'll never know

I found your note written graciously

Reading 'Are you thinking of Me?'

 

Love is all i ever felt for you

I guess you felt the same way too

Summers end Winters close

The feel of sand between my toes

The empty space next to me

You never left that tree

 

</3

 

Author's Note

FAQ:
Q)Is this about Suicide?
A) yes
Q) is this self experience
a) No, just a thought i guess
Q) how old are you?
A) you'll never know(:

Reviews

[NeverShoutAlex]

Sorry i wasnt being very strict about capitalzation punctuation and such, but thanks :) haha cute? hmm

[Billie Mae]

Hello! Okay, so don't hate me right now, I'm still struggling with figuring everything out on this website but your poem kept popping up on my news feed so I figured, what the hey I'll give it a go. I'm not going to do the rating at the bottom mainly because I have no right to rate your poems....and because I have no idea what is considered a fair rating?

The poem itself..

First of all, before I comment on the actual content I want to say that you have some words that don't need to be capitalized while you also have other words that should be capitalized. Like in the third stanza, you didn't capitalize 'I' in the first stanza. Now, I'm not a poet, but I believe that you only need to capitalize important words and the first word of a sentence? Also, as I look through the rest of the poem, there is quite a few 'I's' that you didn't capitalize. So you might want to go through and fix that.

Now to the content.
Okay, the wording here is very nice. It's not the best thing I've ever seen, there's definitely some improvement you could do. Another thing that might help the flow of the poem is adding punctuation. In my experience, whether it's simply a comma or a period or even a semi-colon that helps a lot. It works the pauses so everything doesn't run together and sound like one big mess. Punctuation is a must in poetry like this otherwise you don't know which goes where and how it's supposed to be read. You get me? I like the colored Alive and Dead, I don't know if you did that on purpose but I felt that it worked nicely kind of enunciating life and death. So basically, I thought this was very nice, like I said with punctuation and capitalizing it could be improved. But otherwise very, very good. :)

[Caitlynxoxo]

LOL i like the FAQ at the end :) anyway, i truly liked this poem. You grasped the subject very closely, which made for a good poem! The suicide aspect of it is some heavy stuff, but it really made this poem what it is. Thanks for sharing!

xoxo Caitlyn xoxo

[Kaotic Barbie]

Cute. Very cute.