Apart

She left me

Apart

 
Memories change..

What was once a beautiful recall is now,
Twisted,
Contorted,
Battered,
Torn,
Ripped,
And,
Shattered..

They are no longer a shelter of cherished feelings,
Just a shell filled with the echoes those feelings that safeguarded you in times of pain,

But now,
Even they are just a new strain of even sharper pain,
Almost an incurable poison,
Previously infected
harder to target with any antidote
And harsher than nightshade on your health,

Life changes..

A once honored and almost ritualistic routine is broken,
Life suddenly becomes uncertain and random,
    ..what will happen next,
….will I ever be the same,

Urges develop..

Once the kitchen knife sat silent,
The oil needle never smiled,
The ambrosial bottle never beckoned,
 
Now the knife calls to you drowning you in thoughts of simple carnal relief,
A welcome relief to the pain that engulfs you whenever you have time to think,

The needle now smiles surreptitiously
Promising an almost
Instant,
Mind wrenching,
Escape into a sensory deprived void.

The bottle almost seems to crook a finger,
An invitation to an adventure in a world drowned and dulled in sweet intoxication,
An adventure that ends in a sudden emotional fallout of self destruction and the black,

 And emotions change..

In a cliché and repetitious way
Happiness turns to sadness,
Joy turns to sorrow,
And once again
The world seems harder.
©