Thinking Outloud

- read and find out :) -

Im not happy
Im broken
Im so f*****g broken
Thats how it went
I was thinking out loud
I should keep my emotions
In the little bottle on the shelf
Stuff em there more and more
As they surface, Pretty soon im
going to need a bigger jar
He told me, we dont keep things
from eachother, As much as hes
right, I hate talking about my feelings
Remember that jar I was just talking about
Yeah, thats were they go, In that jar hidden
from you and the rest of the world, Why.?
because thats were they should stay, I was
never one to good at expressing how I feel
I was never one at using words the right way
Lately they have been getting me into deep holes,
that just keep getting deeper and deeper
I seem to be using them against everything I believe in
Use them for the wrong things, Express them poorly
Hurt the ones I love most, Drive them away with my
unforgiving tones of distain
When push comes to shove, Im the one shoving with all my force
Making myself believe that your so much better without me
And perhaps you are, No I know you are
Im a broken soul, Searching for a way to repair what is broken
But can it really be repaired.?
Is there really a way, I feel so hopeless and lost, confused is a major play
Im just sitting here writing about everything
My mind on over drive, Emotions burning to nothing
They have played a serious role in whats been wrong
What are they even for, They just make s**t harder
Im drowning, I dont know where up is I dont know where the water ends or where the surface begins
Its like when the road runs into the sky, And they merge together
Where does one start and the other end.?
Like a highway to haven or a stairway
Perhaps maybe hell
My major concern is
Who the hell am I.?
Where the hell did I go.?
I dont know.

~
Summer-Skye