Hopeless Optimist

I am the hopeless optimist
Arisen from a pool of grey
My mind's in shambles
Held together by thin tape
The pieces gently tugged
Every time you reiterate
This future of which you speak
I'll just keep my mouth shut
And bite my tongue
I'm not ready to take the leap
There's no way to check
Whether that rope's tied around my waist
Or snug around my neck

As I go around
Picking up the papers left in the dust
The passion I had once felt
Baffles me and I wonder if this was only lust
Those words of the past
They trigger something in me
The hopeless optimist
Wants to do the impossible
And fix the machine
Left decommissioned for years
Rusted with doubt
Clogged with all my fears

I wrote a poem for you, my love
I hope one day you read it
Because with the state that I'm in
I'll never let you see it