The Mask I ware

I wake up

Get ready for another day

And the last thing I do

Is put on my mask

 

The mask that everyone sees

Only a few have seen me without it

But for everyone else

That’s all they know

 

Without the mask on

I’m a much different person

Someone who feels

Who isn't always happy

 

I feel like

Too many people depend on me

And if I let one down

I let them all down

 

And other days I feel like

The whole world is keeping a secret

And I can’t know it

So I become mad at the world

 

And some days I blame me

That I’m not better, smarter

That I let people walk on me

And I just want to push everyone away

 

Some days I think

I’ve worn the mask so long

I believe that’s who I am

And I’ve lost the real me

 

Author's Note

I wrote this years ago, when I truly felt this way. Now, looking back, I know I spent too many years trying to be what everyone thought I should be, tried to fit into a mold that was the wrong shape.... Thankfully I've been able to find the real me again, but some people are still trying to get me to fit that mold.

Reviews

[...]

. a very compelling piece of writing ... i can relate to this so much ... i have been physically assaulted repeatedly to make me fit into a mold in the not too distant past ... i was thrashed for crying too much ... i was judged ... i was locked up ... abandoned ... abused ... isolated ... i ached for a word of solace ... one word of comfort ... one drop of relief ... i feared life ... i felt there was no love in the universe for me ... then, i realized that those who were judging me were in a lot of trouble ... much more trouble than i ever was ... i saw them fall into the darkest wells of personal hell ... massacred by guilt ... mutilated by their megalomania ... i recovered without medication ... without love ... my heart goes out to them now ... how needy are those who need someone else to fit into their mold to feel complete ... how bereft and empty must they feel inside ... how insecure and incomplete must their core be ...

. thank you for this post ... thank you for reminding me about the battles i won ... all on my own ... it's my most humbling victory ever ... it doesn't make me proud and i don't want it to ... it helps me breathe freely ... and i cherish that freedom ... may no one ever have to suffer the loss of freedom that i suffered ... not ever ...