Confused

I tried to capture the experience of dealing with the death of my father.

Hardened, ready to snap into action

Intervene, turn back time

Anger, a warrior Marine







Torment, rolling waves of realizations of the permanence of death

The Regrets rise and assault in an overwhelming barrage

Defeat, desire to stop drawing breath

Unquenchable sorrow








Light, new realizations revealed

Sight from a higher vantage point

Happiness and peace with the hope for reuniting









Desire to honor him and be the best man I can be

Ready to weather the chaos, full confidence and endurance

I wont fail, I can take anything!










Anger, an inner flame that seeks a problem to obliterate!

Consuming fire combined with isolation, eating my own flesh

Starting fights and confrontations that damage my relationships

Loosing sight of the purpose, I am failing!










Recovery

Reigned back in, a*s kicked by the consequences of my actions

Apologies given, submitting to God

Letting go of the rigid plans I made, returning to Christ

I'd forgotten everything in such a short moment, tried to do it myself

And there's no fulfillment








For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and lose his soul!

And what does it say to do good for your family only, doesn't even an evil man give his son bread and not rocks or snakes?

Love your enemies, if a man comes to take your cloak, give him your shirt as well

Sell all you have and give to the poor and come follow Me.

Narrow is the gate that leads to life, but My yoke is easy, My burden is light.

And I will never leave you nor forsake you.