Alone

Its name is Alone.

It has held my heart for quite some time.

Accompanied by Alone are its minions disguised in liquid joy.

Filling me with drunken hopes and dreams,

Only to bring me down shot by shot, first its minion Despair, disguised in fruitful laughter.

Despair creeps down my throat into my hollow belly.

And those drunken hopes and dreams quickly wash away.

Only to be followed by a shot of "you'll never be good enough".

 

Alone sulks in the corner, proudly holding my heart in its hands.

Its minions work well together, slowly they bring me down.

Now comes a shot of Empty Promises and in hand is Mr. Misery.

 

I go down.

 

The minions work their poison and Alone invades my mind.

My hollow shell of a body sits up, both to mine and Alones surprise.

So Alone snaps back to its dark corner and its shadows surround me.

Again its minions go to work. "Just one more drink and it will all be ok."

(Yet another empty promise)

"Alone works in good company and will bring happiness someday"

(So the minions say)

They dance and spin around me,

Using their twisted charm and spineless rhymes.

 

And yet one more was all it took...

 

My eyes close...

The glass slips from my fingertips...

Shatters in slow motion...

A loud thud invades my ears...

I know not of what has fallen...

For now I am at peace and I feel my heart warm.

 

All that is left of the minions are empty bottles and broken glass.

They finish with a job well done.

 

Through my chest and out I feel the warmth roll over my entire body...

It was then that I realized

Alone has crept back in.

His poisoned, spineless minions

Worked their way into my veins

And again Alone Invades...

 

Alone whispers quietly into my ear,

"Don't worry Dear, I'm here."

 

Reviews

[Charles]

Hi. Catching up on a few things after me recent travels... I like the idea of the poem a lot. The flow is good and everything rings true. There are a couple of grammar/spelling things that need attention, but I'm sure you'll catch those on the next editing. Good work.

[R J Askew]

Once we have accepted we are not good enough lived with despair for long enough that despair despairs of us, then and only then are we ready to begin ... happy to be alone, as it is only when we are along that we can think clearly. Solitude and silence rule. Love and lust are distraction on the way to a more productive calm, where, with luck, we can create.

[EMP]

this is such a powerful piece. amazing flow, rhythm, words, meaning, everything is just brilliant. well done!

[An owl on the moon]

This was a brilliant blending of feelings that come to life in the mind, becoming the main character of life's play. So well written, with a vivid sense that comes from that solitary place.

[JenLyn]

Great write! The personification and imagery were fantastic. The reader can feel the misery and hollowness that flows from each and every line. It was very creative and original IMO. I would break the poem down more but I'm very tired. It is a great write and I'm looking forward to reading more of your work. Keep it up! :) 100/100

[Jibey]

The ache and the sadness of the mind's release come through strongly in the personification... Images of hopelessness and despair abound...

Btw It's (first line) should be Its. It's = It is - not what you intended.

[Perfume]

I adore the personification with this; alone with all his awful companions.
You carried them all effortlessly. While still maintaining your self in this. There's that definite separation between the self and the feelings here, that creates something really beautiful.
What caught my attention was the similarities in words. Hollow, empty, throat, belly, spineless. Anatomy makes it real and the descriptions make it threatening in the best sense.
Very lovely poem!

[Abhinav]

A powerful poem with a deep meaning......
loved it:)

Abby

[Nick Reynolds]

Well written, I enjoy the imagery and the personification of emotion. It's exciting to read and I really liked it. Not sure if it matters to you, but you spelled... disguised wrong, personally, I don't care, but that bothers some people so I thought I would let you know. Thanks for the friend add. :)
Keep on writing!

[Coyote Poetry]

You told a powerful story. Each line adding to create a wild vision. I like the detail and description in your words. You have a amazing mind to create this story. Ending was very good. A outstanding poem.
Coyote