Cap'n' Blair Knifenose

A short pirate-ish story

On a ship which would’ve made Blackbeard jealous, there was a strange sight to be beheld. You see, the captain of this ship was not your typical hardened man with the rugged beard an broad chest but an elegant and sly woman who went by the name of Blair Knifenose. She was about to embark on a journey to the coast of Mac Gully Island where, according to the latest scarred up scallywag, there was treasure to be found. The only problem which would arise was a vicious sea-serpent by the name of Crash.
“Hoist the flag ye no-good-gut-wrenching-maggots,” she scolded, “It’s time to show those arse sheets what we’re made of!”

And so the men on deck quickly made the preparations as to be able to depart. It was an hour into the night when they finally left the bay and Capt’n Knifenose popped the cork on a big keg of rum she would share with her first-mate Speedy as to celebrate the successful departure. But rum wasn’t only flowing in the captain’s cabins. It was flowing in the crew’s cabins as well. The crew got to drinking and very soon they burst into laughter and song while the boat cut through the waves. It was, unlike most nights, a calm one filled with the joyous sounds of a captain and crew the likes of which were unseen in history though they would soon get a wake-up call.

The following morning, a thunderous roar shook the hearts of the captain and crew and they sped to the deck to see what was happening yet nothing was to be seen. The lookout back in his crow's nest yelled down "There's ships firin' on each other capt'n!".
Blair Knifenose looked in the direction her lookout was pointing and saw a familiar flag. It was that of the Rooted Rascal and it's captain Deni. She had known Deni since she still made a normal living in the port of Bartigan's Bay and wasn't about to see her or her boat go down like this.

"Full speed ahead!" She screamed as her crew scuffled about to hoist the sails. And as her Hispid Hare caught up on the Rooted Rascal, she ordered a sharp turn to starboard only to release a deadly rain of canonballs on the local authority's ship.
Not one shot missed the target and cries of gratitute and victory eminated from both ships. Captain Knifenose had an ally to face the coming days which was a welcome change to the lonely days at sea she'd seen the past 6 years. The first night, the captains of the pirateships shared not only the cabin on the Huspid Hare but many a drink as well. And drunk as a rundown sailor they thought of nothing better to do then contemplate how the world would look if they used women's underwear for flags.

"Do you think the other pirates would copy us?" Deni asked.
"Nah," Blair said, "They'd hoist men's briches and call us names."
They laughed and talked about monsters with more intimate intentions before finally falling asleep on the pieces of fish and fruit they'd never eaten. The very next morning however, the surprise became the greater when they noticed Speedy sitting in front of a canvas which clearly depicted Blair and Deni in a more natural state as they slept among the food.
Needless to say, Speedy got more than his fair share of namecalling for his shameless piece of "art".

While feeling more than happy about his accomplishment, even though he was scolded intensly, Speedy then strolled off with a smile on his face and residue of thrown fruits on his jacket and when he reached the deck, he plainly began to scrub it. None of the crew understood until the painting was brought out for a public burning though, unfortunately for Blair and Deni, the fire not only burned the painting but burned the immage on the retinae of all male crewmembers forever.

By the cold breeze of the sea, Blair scolded her men into gear to finally get to the island of Mertinac where supplies should be up for the grabbing. Though it would only work if she could have the crew block the port from one end while Deni and her crew would take the many shipmen captive. Luckily, Deni's crew was as hardworking as they had been in the past, making the haul all the bigger.

And whilst a feast would've been in order, Blair and Deni just divided the loot and set sail for the Spiraling Caverns. A place where an honorable fisherman claimed he'd seen the Serpentine threat. As the sails caught wind and the crew trained in anticipation of a fierce battle, Blair checked her grey fur and tail for filth. Her jacket with the knifenose crest on the heart as well as her pants were left to dry as she bathed.

It was the first time in years that Speedy didn't try to see Blair without her clothes on. And instead of being happy about this momentary privacy, she felt something was amiss. In a hurry, she dried and clothed herself before rushing out onto the deck where Speedy was being taught how to fire a rifle by Deni. It was a sight Blair had never expected though it did make the panic subside.

Only a few hours later, Deni swung over to her own ship where her crew was waiting for orders. But very little were given except anchoring down for the night. The crew needed a good night's sleep for the two nights travel they were away from the caverns.

Don't think the captains and crew would slow down or plan a strategy for their arrival. Because everyone in the seven seas knew that wouldn't happen even if there was a flying whale called Bob who would sing to them. Which, by te way, did happen. Only the flying Bob wasn't as much a whale as an obese crewmember who shot himself out of a cannon in a drunk mood.

Moving on....Blair was loading her bulletpouch with freshly crafted rounds and sharpening her rapier as she saw they were approaching land.
"Anchor down maggots! We've arrived!"
The crew rushed in a blind obedience as a scraping sound eminated from under Deni's ship.
"Anchor down and move off this deathtrap!" Deni shouted in a panic.
It was clear that someone or something was aware of their presence.

They soon found the entrance to the Spiraling Caverns to be guarded by a one-eyed nobleman in exquisite silken clothes which were, oddly enough, completely pink. And upon asking him to let them enter the man simply laughed and unveiled his chain of a hundred keys.
"If you wish to enter you shall have to find the key which fits the iron gate." He said, handing them the chain.

"Simple enough." Blair said, head held high and strolling towards the man.
"Tell me which key it is or I'll seperate your head from your body."

Again the man simply laughed at the comment and sharpened rapier at his throat.
"I know not which key it is, silly feline, I am but the keeper of the keys."
Blair rolled her green eyes and handed the keys to Deni with a long, drawn-out sigh.
She in turn, took one key and opened the gates without effort.
"How did you do that?" Blair asked.
"Simple, I took the key which had a snake logo on it." Deni commented.

A face-palm and some harsh words toward the man in pink later, the captains and crew entered the caverns. The walls were moist and the stalagmites and stalagtites showed signes of scraping. It was as if some large object had ground them down over the years yet none of the crew really payed any notice.

It wasn't untill they'd walked five hours down a winding path that they heard the first signs of serpetnine activity. And even then it was but a feint hissing sound. Blair, as bored as she was, decided to yell: "Come on allready! I'm getting tired here!".

Much to the dismay of her friend and crew, this woke the serpent. Who then made clear its intentions by wrecking most of the cave in front of them.
"Shoot its eyes!" Blair commanded.
"Blast the neck!" Deni ordered her crew.
Unfortunately the now one-eyed serpent, knocked back the brave men who took its eye and crushed them by slamming into the ceiling with its massive head. In the chaos that followed, ten more men fell and Blair sprinted into its mouth and stuck her rapier straight into the serpent's brain.

Exhausted and covered in snakedrool, Blair lay panting on the cavern floor. And though she was proud of those who fought, she couldn't help but feel grief for those who fell.
But as she lay there, it dawned on her that this
was only the beginning.