I agree with your message & you have written this with much feeling. I like the details you include, like losing faith & contentment. But this does not sound like someone who has actually lived thru this experience. It sounds like someone who never wants to know what this feels like. In other words, your message could be expanded to show more about how this happens or how this feels. But as a simple statement, your message is true & easily understood (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
Oh yes! Very rightly pointed out. I have never really gone through that. It was just, what came to .. read moreOh yes! Very rightly pointed out. I have never really gone through that. It was just, what came to my mind back a year ago. But I have seen people going through it. And it frightens me.
Thanks for the constructive review.
I agree with your message & you have written this with much feeling. I like the details you include, like losing faith & contentment. But this does not sound like someone who has actually lived thru this experience. It sounds like someone who never wants to know what this feels like. In other words, your message could be expanded to show more about how this happens or how this feels. But as a simple statement, your message is true & easily understood (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
Oh yes! Very rightly pointed out. I have never really gone through that. It was just, what came to .. read moreOh yes! Very rightly pointed out. I have never really gone through that. It was just, what came to my mind back a year ago. But I have seen people going through it. And it frightens me.
Thanks for the constructive review.
You really can lose yourself while loving others. People usually tend to forget their value when in love; getting affection in return is enough for them.
This was wonderfully written. Very well summarised in such few words.
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
Thank you so much for your thought here. I really appreciate it. =)
In as much as I really liked what you wrote here and quite agree to the message, I'd say writing it like this would be more impactful, especially the last line which should be separated to give a more finer/stronger impact. Just my thoughts on this. You write well.
Thank you so much, Yumna. I appreciate your constructive comment. And I really liked the way you sug.. read moreThank you so much, Yumna. I appreciate your constructive comment. And I really liked the way you suggested. Have a look now. :P
7 Years Ago
Thank you too for taking it as constructive :) always a pleasure reading good works 😊 you're welc.. read moreThank you too for taking it as constructive :) always a pleasure reading good works 😊 you're welcome.
I wish you could place 'losing oneself' at the second last line, just before 'is horrible'. This would make the overall impact of the poem; saying that you are losing yourself completely after losing faith and contentment. Just a thought
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thanks a lot, Ashwin. I will surely consider it.
I liked your constructive thought. :)))
So poignant and so powerful. What have we left to face this world if not our identity, our faith, our peace, and love itself that binds all else together. May you only find yourself fulfilled more each day, dear poet.
this was really simple and yet so beautifully written.
i feel its more of a poem than a story but i love the wisdom you set here. you beautifully introduced what it means to lose something
that something being yourself and all the other factors that make you a person. Real loss in life comes from a persons self loss.
wonderful work!!! always happy to read your work
Tracing the things and memories from the backyard of emotions.
Very friendly.
Floating in the sea of my own thoughts and soaking them into the ink of my hand to pen down all of them.
A biblio.. more..