Space

Gazing out 

at the tree tops

embraced 

by the night

Traffic lights 

like stars 

in the distance

My gaze reflected

In the glass 

that divides me 

from the world

No sound except 

a gentle breeze 

of cars

The stillness 

of the room

embraces me, 

becomes me,

I become 

the room.

No 

space 

in between

Soft like silk 

I wear this room,

this world,

the stars.

I realize

My eyes 

had closed

My outward gaze

had become

My inward gaze

Reviews

[Shawn M]

I really enjoyed this. However, at the end you lost me. I loved the very visual beginning. I'd love even more imagery! However, the last stanza was devoid of all the good things from the first two, and it felt really short-changed. I'm not sure how you could rework it and keep that same...intellectual feel, or even if you would want to, but I think it would serve the poem much better if you went back to the descriptive beginning more. That's where the magic was happening. Hope this helps! -Shawn

[Kristine]

Thanks for your feedback :) I see what you mean, I think at the end I was already not in "the zone" anymore, so it became a bit forced.

[Shawn M]

Yeah, I totally understand that! I'm glad you got what I was meaning! :D

[Sami Khalil]

A very enjoyable read and a very good write...:)....................

[Kristine]

Thank you :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)...................

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Wow I so enjoy your work,easy,vivid,not boring at all enjoyed it well done!!

[Kristine]

Thank you :)

[Carl Drake Barnard]

plesier :)