Hair

A poem.

I never considered black
until I saw his dusty silhouette riding off into the
sunset,
until laughs that slithered from the throat and
smiles that never quite reached the
eyes.

I never considered black
until I fell in love with waving locks gelled to a perfect angle every
morning,
until pea coats and steaming mugs of
tea.

I never considered black
until all I had left of him were
memories
spilled out from a thick black
pen.

Reviews

[The Twin Arenas]

this poem oozes.

"i never considered black" is a great line. nobody has.

[Chris]

You brought me along the way. And gawd I understood. If this weren't real for you - it would have been for ...someone.

[A. Amos]

splendid piece of work and looking forward to read more of your work

[Nix]

Wow, this may be the most well written un-formulaic poem I've read on WC. So refreshing. Amazing job.

[Bare trees]

You've got a way of writin that stirs me up darlin. You're a deep thinker, I like that.

[Shaquana Adams]

Love this. Very nicely written :)

[Steve]

Expert! I like how this flows.

[Avoiry]

You used you words very effectively and the twist at the end was good. A mesh of saying your feelings without saying much directly at all. Nice piece.

[Jared Michael Smith]

Twist ending... Niiiiiiiiiice. B) Makes you think that you never considered black until you wrote the poem. ;) Anyways, the content was excellent, but I feel like your visual presentation needs a little primping up. Other than that, very nice work Neo. :)

[Neo]

What changes would you suggest?

[Jared Michael Smith]

Mostly capitalization at the beginning of lines and commas at the end of lines that make complete thoughts

[Neo]

I actually capitalize the first word of each sentence. And my complete thoughts are punctuated...?

[Jared Michael Smith]

Sorry, I meant the lines. I always capitalize every line, but it's all up to you. And never mind about the punctuations, I was out of my head when I wrote that. Sorry. :/

[Neo]

Punctuation and capitalization is poetry is very arbitrary, so you have to be careful when you're trying to offer constructive criticism for poems.

[Jared Michael Smith]

You're right, I'm sorry. :/ I forgot about ole Emily Dickinson. Well, no matter the punctuation, I just want you to know that the content was fabulous.