afterlife

Running. The steady beat of my feet against the pavement can barely be heard over my sobs. I can't breath. I have to keep going. I'm lost. I turn a corner.... And I'm falling falling falling. There is no sound, no feeling, nothing. Just the sight of the rocks growing steadily closer. They say your life flashes before your eyes. What they don't bother to tell you is that you life isn't worth watching. Before your eyes is a highlight reel of every mistake you've ever made, every rule you've ever broken, and when the film is over, you're left to die with nothing but regret.

 

It's black now. I don't remember when it happened, or what I felt when it did. I only remember the hours before. He was there. He had always been there, close behind, waiting for his chance. He was insane. I told him he scared me, that I didn't want to be with him. He told me he would kill himself if I ever said that again. And tonight, that's exactly what he did. He cornered me in the woods, pulled a knife from his pocket. He cut my arm with an affectionate gaze and as I turned to run he screamed. I can't recall what it was, but as he did, the knife slashed across his throat. I ran.

 

I don't know where I am. Is this supposed to be Heaven? If it is, the Mormons have some explaining to do. I can't see a thing, not even my own hand, an inch from my face. Then, there is a fire. Nothing big, a tiny flame, like that of a lighter, right at my feet. I crouch down to study the flickering light. It grows bigger, and begins to take the form of a man.... no, it's a woman. She's running, running fast and... then she's falling....

 

This is what I see. This is all I see. Here, wherever I am, I am forced to watch the fiery woman fall to her death, over and over again. She screams in agony when she hits the ground. Then she's gone, she has faded into the tiny flame once again. But no matter how I beg, the flame begins to grow, and run and fall and scream. For eternity, this is where I sit. This is what I do, I watch the woman recreate my death over and over and over again.

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