For Real

 I've been told to say how I really feel

I'll tell you, but the story ain't pretty

It's a harsh tale of how I ended up like this

Brace yourself, for this tale of extremities

Before I turned a year old

My mother left me alone

She decided her drugs meant more to her

Than taking care of my siblings and I

Without her, I developed a mental disease

That made me extremely unstable and scared

I'm afraid everyday that the people that mean the most

Will abandon me in the blink of an eye

When I'm alone, and thinking about this

Something goes off in my mind

And I can't stop my panic attacks

Until I drag a razor harshly across my skin

I know I'm sick and I know I'm crazy

I know that I don't belong

But I have things I need to accomplish

So I push through this life so full of hatred

I can't go through a single day

Without feeling alone, afraid and despise

I hate myself and the life I lead

I keep this a secret, though, so I'm not judged

I feel like every one of my friends

Will eventually leave me behind

They'll find something so much better than me

Just like my mother did so many years ago

Thanks for struggling through this

For spending the time to read of my life

I'm sorry if it was a disappointment to you

I can tell you that it is to me

Reviews

[bobby]

Hard hitting truth. Deeply felt and now expressed; no more hidden and afraid to live. You made a essential step in your recovery of being you! Tell the truth don't hide with darkness covering your beautiful truth. Writing is your passage to reality in an oblique way. Light bends and refracts as it illuminates itself to the world. The world will bend you but your light/truth will show thru it all. You are not disappointing. Contrary you are enlightening!!