How i see my ex, Beautiful version

I see him with someone else, and instead of being upset im happy for him..

When I see the two of them together, I know its right...

He looks at her the way I used to think of him Like it'll be there last day, 

there last time togetherBut only once in a great while do I envy her, them

That feeling goes away shortly after though, 

Only because I know they are perfect for each other

2 puzzle pieces, two souls who've finally met for the first time though they've met many 

They belong, him with her

Them walking almost in sinc

And when his eyes lay on hers I know that the decision that was made was for the best...

Reviews

[Matthew Kult]

I agree with Neville, this comes off as sad and in many ways it comes off as defeated. We can't have that.

With love,

Matthew

[Masked writer]

Tis sad indeed, but what is life without a bit of sadness... without sadness, no one would realize what true happiness is... though i will be releasing one with a new freezer, and a new fish if you know what i mean ;)

MW

[Neville]

This reads sadder than sad .. letting go can be a wrench but at the end of the day if it works out for the best then who are we to argue .. and anyway, there are plenty more fish in the freezer .. Neville

[Masked writer]

Oml the freezer yesss

[Neville]

.............. cool eh :)

[e]

Such a nice poem !! Beautiful:))

[Masked writer]

Thankyou, erin

[JayG]

Ask yourself how many people woke today hoping to learn how someone they know nothing about feels about someone they'll never meet.

Poetry isn't us telling others what matters to us. Readers come to be entertained, not informed. They want us to make them feel and care. They want words that "flow trippingly from the tongue."

And...never show the reader anything but your A game. No one wants to spend time commenting on things they find, only to be told, "Yeah, I saw that, and I'll fix it later.” In this case:

Line 1: "its right," should be "it's right."
L2: Missing period, and it should be "their," not "there."
L3: Should be: "Their," not "there."
L4: Should be “though" should have a leading comma,
etc.

Here's the deal: Poetry is a field that's been under development for thousands of years. Take advantage of that. Pick up the tricks that the pros take for granted. Mary Oliver's A poetry Handbook is a joy to read, because it's filled with unexpected insights, like why we sometimes use the word rock, and at others, stone, for the same thing. And, you can download a readable copy on this site: https://yes-pdf.com/book/1596 though you'll probably want to pick up a hard copy of your own.

And for what he has to say about the flow of language in poetry, it's worth a trip to Amazon to read the excerpt from Stephen Fry's, The Ode Less Traveled.

Sorry my news isn't better.

Jay Greenstein
Articles: https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/
Videos: https://www.youtube.com/@jaygreenstein3334

[Masked writer]

My apologies for the grammar mistakes. When I insert things like these, I do it very quickly...
read moreMy apologies for the grammar mistakes. When I insert things like these, I do it very quickly...

Thank you for taking the time to read, though I will check into the articles and videos, and let you know.

Have a wonderful day or night.

And for whatever gods sake, I hope something awakens in you to realize I did ask myself "How many people will awake, only to learn how someone they know nothing about feels about someone they'll never meet?" And that answer was who cares, its how you feel, yeah sure, someone comments, and we as the unspoken writers appreciate it, though if there are a few bad comments, ignore them, and move on...
Writing is an outlet, and has been for decades.

Why not cherish and be grateful that so many people still use the are of writing? That is a question you should be asking yourself.

[Masked writer]

I had sent this to hime, and this was his response... Oh wow. I then asked if those were his only thoughts, and he said I don’t have many thoughts about it, other than it being thoughtful....