In the Midst

The part that is together are my thoughts, the ones at the end are an inner arughment between yourself and the person who you want to be (also yourself)

In the midst of a thought anxiety took over me. 

The bottle on the shelf, so delicate...I can't decide whether to drink it because I want to feel some type of release from reality or if i want to chuck it at a wall and listen to the glass shatter...

The phone on the counter, an inner voice telling me its okay to call him, but Im scared...Scared to stop pacing because its the only thing keeping my breathing even remotely even...

But if I can just walk over to the phone...and dial his number...I can't, I won't bring my self to stop pacing, afraid that if the rythem of my footsteps stop there won't be anything to help me...Why'd I call him? The phone rings... and I hang up all to quickly.

He'll know, he'll know but maybe he'll understand, but its 2:47 in the morning... What if you say something stupid? wait how long have i been pacing for again?

Focus, dial his number... he said call if you need anything...right?

My mind slowly cracks, my eyes on the last photo of us together, BREATHE, He's been there for you and vise versa...BREATHE. 

Theres nothing to worry about, your safe now

Yes, yes there is, what if he leaves and doesn't come back?

he wont do that, he cares too much about you..

wait he said something about the right time, when was the right time???

Reviews

[Dennis Wolf]

Relief from reality?
Yeah, that's kind of impossible since we define reality by what we are experiencing.. In short, even hallucinations and dreams are "reality" while you're stuck in them.

But then again, that's just my thought.
Insecurity, drama.. Oh how boring relationships would be without them heh on that same note, how pure they'd be without those same insecurities and drama sessions.. But if something is purely that one thing.. It becomes stale and boring instantly.

Sometimes, I think, we create issues for ourselves and those closest to us just to break out of that stale way of continuing ever onward into more of the same...

Cheers

[Masked writer]

Nothing more extravagent then that. Sometimes that could be the case.
I believe that perhaps what one would call a rotine is just the basic life set, wheras those with no routine find themselves in a state of unknowingness, a creature at there doorstep waiting for them to open up just to trap them in there own mind

just my thoughts

[Dennis Wolf]

Routine is good, for work, for hobbies, for safely traveling.. Not for life.
Cheers

[Masked writer]

Agreed