In his footsteps

A Poem by Stanley Wilson

A sons tribute to his late father

In his footsteps.

I heard your footsteps on the stairs the other night. It was a heavy and a weary trudge. Just as if you had come home after a long and hard day at work. You were an old fashioned soldier returned from the wars and proud of it. Despite the pain from your wounds. When you retired you turned the garden into a veritable cacophony of fauna and vegetables. As you faded and your strength ebbed away, your garden became a window box and then a potplant. The floorboards creaked outside my door and I knew instantly that it was you. Instead of being afraid in this big house alone I felt warm inside and safe. Just like when we were small and you came home.

I remember them being lighter in the morning, as you sped down the stairs. Always running late for work and you were never a twinkle-toes at best. Two left feet mother always said with a fondness. The determined and sure footed stomp as you searched for me when we played hide and seek. Or when I was hiding from your anger. The light clip clop and proud stamp as you walked up the street arms swinging, shoulders back and your head always held high. Poppy in your left lapel and your medals gleaming on poppy day. Proud of your lost ones, proud to have served and done what you had done. It broke your heart to see the battalion go into suspended animation.

I used to follow your footprints along the beach to the water’s edge. As I stood there with my small feet in your prints, I often wondered would I ever measure up to you. I followed those footsteps in my life as I tried to emulate you. They led me across the world and to meet many different peoples. Seeing a many different wonder and things that, you thought only existed in stories. Many an adventure and experiences, I had some not so good but they were experiences all the same.

I discovered the man that you truly were. I never did quite fit those shoes but, I learnt far much more about you than when I was at home. After walking in your shadows, stepping into the light I finally understood you and loved you the more. As my children grew it was you and your sayings that spurt forth from my mouth. It was then that I realised and gained comfort that you were right. Although heaven forbid I uttered those words to you. Be a man you said hide those tears, chin up and stand proud. Get a grip my boy. Don’t let the b******s grind you down.

I heard your bare feet slap across the kitchen floor today. Strong and full of purpose, those were the footsteps I loved the most. The ones that made us feel safe and loved, when we were small.

I dont ever wish to stop hearing those footsteps now that you are here with me no more.

©Stanley Wilson 2013