Minimalistic.

Minimalistic.

A Poem by Nefertiti Virtudes Ahmes
"

There is a hidden plea/plot to this rather short piece. Feel free to comment when you see it.

"
Pits damp.
Lips quiver.
Eyes covered.
Arms tied.
Spin shivers.
Ears plugged.

Heart slows.
Exhale. Inhale.
Limbs limp.
Pulse stops.

© 2020 Nefertiti Virtudes Ahmes


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Reviews

It took me to several places yet most strongly to death by some kind of a dangerous sex act...I'm sorry if I'm way off mark. I really love experimental and creative writing...one that tests the intellect...like this piece. Happy writing Nefertiti!

Posted 4 Years Ago


Interesting. This poem echos a cry for help while the person struggles to contain it within their fear. When it's all over the cry wasn't answered promptly and then the last bit of life leaves them. Excellent work!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nefertiti Virtudes Ahmes

4 Years Ago

I love how much depth you got from this very, very minuscule piece. But you are correct. There is a .. read more
Dig this. I normally don't advocate periods [.] but it works here to set up pace.
Sex and Violence they say. This could be coitus or death. Le petite mort.

Very streamlined.
Excellent

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nefertiti Virtudes Ahmes

4 Years Ago

Thank you for the review!! Haha.
I do like how you saw it. Sex and/or Death. I am a more....m.. read more
Alessander

4 Years Ago

Please help! Can't believe I missed that! Awesome
Nefertiti Virtudes Ahmes

4 Years Ago

Haha!! Yeah it’s hidden in plain sight!

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90 Views
3 Reviews
Rating
Added on December 30, 2019
Last Updated on January 2, 2020
Tags: poem, crime, Dark

Author

Nefertiti Virtudes Ahmes
Nefertiti Virtudes Ahmes

About
My writers name is a story in itself...Nefertiti is Egyptian for a beautiful women, Virtudes is Jamaican for blessed spirit and Ahmes is Egyptian for child of the moon. more..

Writing