Repeat.

Repeat.

A Poem by Nefertiti Virtudes Ahmes
"

Just a dark little poem. A little more of word play than I usually do.

"
The sun is for today.
Tomorrow is another cloud away.
Boom. Another taken away,
For their blasphemous praise.
For those tedious days.
Just to get another soul to prey.
Greedy are their minds.
Tidy are their crimes.
No evidence left behind.

Crimson.

Yellow are his eyes.
Salty are his lies.
As he smiles at his prize.
His mind saying “gotchya”

Vermilion.

Blue are her tears
As her heart clenches with fear
As her skin is pierced by his spear.
Her breath almost gone,
As he smiles from ear to ear.

Sanguine.

Snake like tongue licks at teeth.
As his eyes peer beneath.
Her blood stained skirt,
He begins to unsheathe,
His personal dagger.

Carmine.

Her body still warm.
Makes this moment deform,
Into a worm as she starts to squirm.
He thought she was gone.
“She must want more chloroform”

Repeat.

© 2019 Nefertiti Virtudes Ahmes


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Featured Review

"smiling faces tell lies"
and there are so many hypocrites in this world...they preach one thing and do another.
being real and exuding love...
she longs for cupid's arrow....but he stabs her heart with a rusty, musty blade...
and she prays for death.
very Plath-ian in nature.
j.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nefertiti Virtudes Ahmes

4 Years Ago

Thank you for the review!

I love this review! Very blunt in nature and so true!



Reviews

The last two verses were my favorites, so stark and brilliant dark poetry. Your word play is really cool and so creative, Nefertiti...

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nefertiti Virtudes Ahmes

4 Years Ago

Thank you for your review and kind words Divya!
Word play is definitely what came across. It's almost whimsical in rhythm despite the very dark content.

As for content it seems like deceit and rape and violations at every level, whether structural or personal (it ends with chloroform)

This almost seems like the diary of a serial killer (repeat) though it alternates between prey and victim.

Anyhow. Enjoyed this macabre lil piece. There's a sense of inevitability or inescapability throughout

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nefertiti Virtudes Ahmes

4 Years Ago

Thank you very much for the review Alessander.

You have very good insight about this.. read more
I love how you incorporate the color red in each section of your poem. It makes things more intense and it goes a long way to develop the imagery conveyed throughout your work. Crime is quite the thriller especially when it's day by day. Nicely done!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nefertiti Virtudes Ahmes

4 Years Ago

Hahah!! I guess it is a thriller when it’s everyday! Thank you for appreciating the contrast of th.. read more
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JR
I like the use of color... forces the reader to make connections based on their own emotional connection to that shade. That's a neat trick. Your images are brutal and stark, you make this very consistent. The reader knows where it will end, but they don't want that ending. Nice play on an emotional scale. "Repeat." is particularly cold. You know he's going to do it again. Like the world, we are consumed. Just reading a lot of your work, I like how you vary your style. Keeps a consistent reader guessing, and I'm betting it's more fun for you to play around with different voices and approaches. I know it is for me.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nefertiti Virtudes Ahmes

4 Years Ago

Thanks JR!! I love your review on this. Very in depth and you have a keen sense of this writing. Yes.. read more
Wow I'm new here but I gotta give it here's some fantastic talents like this piece of art above it's just brilliant

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nefertiti Virtudes Ahmes

4 Years Ago

Welcome to the site!!

Thank you very much for reading my content and leaving a review.. read more
"smiling faces tell lies"
and there are so many hypocrites in this world...they preach one thing and do another.
being real and exuding love...
she longs for cupid's arrow....but he stabs her heart with a rusty, musty blade...
and she prays for death.
very Plath-ian in nature.
j.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nefertiti Virtudes Ahmes

4 Years Ago

Thank you for the review!

I love this review! Very blunt in nature and so true!

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105 Views
6 Reviews
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Added on December 21, 2019
Last Updated on December 21, 2019
Tags: Dark, crime, thriller, blood, poem, fiends

Author

Nefertiti Virtudes Ahmes
Nefertiti Virtudes Ahmes

About
My writers name is a story in itself...Nefertiti is Egyptian for a beautiful women, Virtudes is Jamaican for blessed spirit and Ahmes is Egyptian for child of the moon. more..

Writing

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