I worship . . .

Just a little something on my mind.

It's days like today that baffle me,

they moments when you are forced to understand,

to understand that you will never comprehend what has come upon you.

It's days like today that I know not whether to be frightened or thankful.

I look at the words of wisdom in my hands,

and the body now deprived of a soul beside me,

I list to myself what is true,

I worship a man who I do not see,

I worship I man who heals the sick, yet never shows his face to receive glory,

I worship a man who promises me paradise,

I worship a man who has no proof within our understanding,

I worship a man who I can do nothing but believe in,

I worship I man who I suffer for,

I worship a man who suffered for us,

So why do I find myself question such Mercy and grace?

Why do I have the right to question his powers and ways, and live until tomorrow?

How can I sin and still breath on towards the years to come?

I sit down, and watch the world freeze in front of my eyes,

each man, woman and child; tableaux.

I sit and wait,

I wait for the sound of his voice, 

I wait for the proof I desperately desire out of my wonder,

Yet no one comes, and they all move on,

but there is something that wasn't there before, 

the chiming of the church bells, and the view of the doves as they soar.

I will not test the lord,

for he knows what is best for me, 

I smile at the sight of the doves flight,

and I know that it is he who speaketh to me. 

Author's Note

Sorry for the grammar and the poem it isn't the best,but I wanted to get it down on something before it left my mind, hope you can still enjoy it though. :)

Reviews

[RiverRei]

In my opinion, it is only human to question your faith at one point or another. I grew up without any faith and yet here I am believing in God. As human beings, we are raised to believe in what we see. For example, when we are children we are taught that we can't see monsters under our bed or on our closets and therefore they are not real. It's not bad to question your faith. :) Thank you for the read request!

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the journey leading to the strong ending.
"I will not test the lord,
for he knows what is best for me,
I smile at the sight of the doves flight,
and I know that it is he who speaketh to me. "
I agree with the above words. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Emily]

Wonderful wording!
Keep it up!

[Michelle Coleman]

I actually think your did a job here, Octavious. I no longer believe in the god of my youth, but I remember the turmoil of questioning and seeking. Though I never returned to religion, I seem to have come full circle in the realm of trust.

[Octavious]

I am glad that you could connect with moments of your life through this poem even if you haven't return to you god of youth. :)

[Michelle Coleman]

The God of my youth was a tyrant. He can sit by himself on a lonely throne, for all I care. 😉 read moreThe God of my youth was a tyrant. He can sit by himself on a lonely throne, for all I care. 😉

Connecting to a spiritual crisis is easy for those of us who have been there. We understand the grief, the fear, the rage, and the doubt. When we pass the threshold, we know what it means to believe again, to feel free, to heal, to let go, to accept, to love again, and to be whole. Authentic.

So I enjoy pieces like this because I am shown that more and more people go through this process and come out transformed into something more beautiful.

Questioning and doubting is all part of the spiritual path. Something I was once denied. It brings us stronger into our core beliefs. What's interesting how similar some of those core beliefs can be to the ones we grew up hating.

[Octavious]

Apologies :) I'll have to look into it some time.

[Michelle Coleman]

No apology necessary. I was only explaining where I stood on the situation of my childhood God. 😊

[....................]

We all wonder and even doubt sometimes but that is part of our humanity, that which was sewn in us - a curious nature. What matters is where we rest of minds at the end of that long curious journey. Just as we know that the night will bring darkness and the day, light; that all things are born, live and die; that the world never stops turning, we know that there are things beyond our understanding. Even in faith we are permitted to wonder and question. Your piece is proof of that. Well-done!

[Jamestown]

Fantastic write!
Well written and delivered, you have so my thought provoking lines, but
finish with passion and honor, completely enjoyed reading this:)
Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[Octavious]

Thank you so much :)