Dead In the Water

Messing around with some symbolism.

First in many of a generation, as my age grew older the skies grow darker.              

The world, me, mom, dad- high expectations, the pressure, the weight on my shoulders.

To grow on a tree of success as a leaf,

But I want to be a rose.

Them, me, mom, dad " I’m unacceptable, but why; too different?

Oh the fears I bear.

I’m of age, “You’re ready”, but I’m not.

They ignored what I wanted, and forced me to push my dreams aside for them.

The dark world overwhelms me;

The numbers! The numbers! Don’t think about the numbers;

The amount of eyes waiting to be pleased by; me,

A branch of eight leaves

One of eight! One of eight!

Me: the first to bloom and the first to sail.

Wind- reality, the real world is waiting; calling.

To fall in the terrifying wind, the same wind I’ve prepared to live upon.

It’s frightful; I’m slipping, slipping away

The weight, I’m collapsing, don’t want to, but it’s the only way out.

My Life lived with vibrant colours; determination and pride.

I had more than potential, I was fought over.

What did they see?

When I searched for it,

I saw . . . nothing,

Then I asked,

What if my wind stops?

Then what?

I fall? Fall to the bottom of the lake?

I can’t let the wind stop, I have to keep on going, but

I knew it was over; you’d think nothing else would matter;

To be the first to go, and now the first to die;

But I thought of the disappointment my branch will have of me.

I lived with only one word I could connect with.

Struggle- “But I can’t go, I just can’t hit the water yet.”

I never grew stronger, I grew weaker, and got

Closer and closer to the water,

Until it happened, I felt it,

Felt the Cold,

Black,

Wet and cruel shivers through my veins,

Me, Mom, Dad . . . Family, I’m sorry to say . . .

That I couldn’t do it.

Dead in the water is where I lay

And

Dead in the water is where I stay.

 

      

Author's Note

Hope you enjoy :)