Life is a Succbus

Minus the sexy part. It's metaphoric.

She sucks away my life.
Leaving me in a troubled state of dreamin'.
But sometimes it's euphoric-like.
A lie from such a lovely demon.

Her eyes are paper green,
Her lips dictate how it should be...
She'll take control of the scene.
She'll have them forced on me!

And she'll never get off from on top of me.
Interested in my pleasure, while adding pain...
She never wants me free,
She'll use me constantly, for her gain!

I want to be in love with her,
But she's acts so brutal.
The nights are just a blur,
And having romantic feelings are futile.

She's rough and I'm cracking,
Maybe one day I'll break.
I cringe upon her whips smacking,
She's mocking the fake smile on my face.

Reviews

[Anonymity,]

A great take on the penalties of love. Sometimes when we are afraid to be alone we will sstick with anything to avoid that situation. But this poem has a bit of a twist showing how this person is trapped by his love/hate relationship for this woman. He loves the pleasure but hates her spirit. This was a very interesting read, thank you for writing this.

[Abysmal Savant]

LOL! sorry...this just reminds me of every girl Ive been with- this is tight, you got good form and flow to this and through the whole piece i was nodding my head in agreement-

[Jazlean]

I really like this!
I read it twice, once just as seeing it as an over powering woman, the next as life itself.
You show how life is interesting and enjoyable, yet at the same time can be filled with so much pain and can smother you, it never goes away, you can't take breaks.
"And she'll never get off from on top of me.
Interested in my pleasure, while adding pain...
She never wants me free..."
The last three stanzas are my favourite (they are ALL great but I found the ending just really topped it off for me). In addition, the flow and rhyme were nicely done. ^__^ and you always have a brilliant choice of words.
Great stuff, well done!
Keep writing! :D
~Jazlean

[Ben Miller]

HOT.